A
female
age
36-40,
*s.mak
writes:Hi!I'm in a relationship for a year now and I've told him things about my past that maybe I shouldn't tell him. But I don't take him as a fool coz he deserved better specially if there's talk about the future. I won't say I have a good past but few that I'm not really proud of. Anyways one of those "not proud of" I have shared with him. I'm glad he was happy that I was honest n open, but I made a comment about how we have sex and usually he doesn't take it seriously, coz were so comfortable with each other that we just laugh at it. Anyways he has been going at it the whole day now n he said that my past means a lot to him. N I'm not sure I can changed of he thinks of me and he said that he can never touch me again n it makes him sick just to think about it. Please I need an advice how I can help him to not be so upset and make him stop thinking about my bad past. Thank you! Ur advice is appreciated! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, ms.mak +, writes (24 February 2011):
ms.mak is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI know I can't make it go away. I'm just tormented that he has feel this way. I'm happy enough that he doesn't think of it everyday. Its been a long day we had today. Just pure sighing and feeling his not really there. I suggest to him that maybe it would be better that he leaves me and have a new start with someone else. Was I wrong to have said this. And then he said to me it is not you I want to leave, but your past. He means so much to me and I can't even dare to think of loosing him. My question now is: does it get better in time? What shall I do then and how should I act? Please advice me. Once again, thank you.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2011): It's called retroactive jealousy. It's one of the most common problems people have and don't talk about. You can find MANY, MANY questions on it if you search the site.
The thing that you must understand (and many people giving advice about this topic don't really understand) is that your boyfriend is not choosing to feel this way. He is dealing with natural emotions. They are not decisions or opinions. Bad emotions don't just go away on command.
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