A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:so me and my cousin have been together for five years and have lived together for four years... last week he broke up with me because we are cousins. He has known this from the beginning. I thought we were over the cousin drama thing after the first two years. He said some hurtful things like how wrong it was and that he guess he would be alone and miserable because of what his family and friends think. It was completely unexpected the day before we broke up he called me at work and told me how much he missed me and wanted me to come home because i was working late. I just dont understand why the cousin thing is such a big problem now. Plus he is very distant towards me around other people but when we are by our selves he is really sweet and nice like he has always been. Ive tried talking to him it doesnt work. I just wanted some advice on what to do.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2013): I don't think this was a sudden thing. More likely is that it has always been a nagging feeling in him that grew and grew but he never said anything until finally he couldn't ignore it. Initially he was fine with the 'cousin thing' because in the beginning there hasn't yet been time for consequences to be felt. But then he faced more and more pressure or judgment from other people and over the years this got worse or it wore him down. I know it's hard to be rejected by someone you love when you didn't do anything wrong. All I can say is, if one partner in the relationship wants out, then the relationship is over. Maybe he will change his mind in the future. Maybe he will realize that he misses you too much and that it means more to him than what other people think. Maybe he needs to try dating other women to realize that what he had with you was special. Or maybe he won't come to any of these conclusions but by then YOU would have moved on and found someone new and will be happy with. Either way, you just have to let things unfold and see where it leads to next. Hugs x
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionjust thought i should give some back ground info i had never meet ne of my dads family including my half sister til i was 18 and ill be 23 in November.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (10 April 2013):
 Well if it's one of his FRIEND'S FAMILY, then he's using it as an excuse.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni dont think it was his immediate family they all seem to really love me. i think it was one of his friends family
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (9 April 2013):
Someone clearly said SOMETHING to him about it.
Perhaps an inheritance will be withheld if he continues with you....
if you live in a state where first cousins can legally marry (I assume you are first cousins) then legally it's not an issue.
Some families do not want it. Your bf/cousin needs to make a choice clearly... immediate family (mother father siblings) or your relationship.
are you willing to have him give up his immediate family to be with you?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2013): Prior to the advent of the steam engine, few Brits ever moved more than 20 miles from where they were born. If you don't think your ancestors were cousins, you're quite mistaken. How on earth did people manage to find genetically diverse partners if they were unable to travel? There are specific look to various communities within England. Why do you think that is? Stop being so judgmental.As for why your boyfriend broke up with you? Maybe he feels pressure from people
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for that but is someone really better off being miserable and alone for the rest of ur life because others dont agree. He tells me that he still loves me and cares about me. it would be different if we hadnt been together for five years.
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