A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating my boyfriend for a year, we live together but here lately things have been going down hill. I feel like we're not connecting like we used. I don't feel loved by him anymore. He doesn't cuddle with me anymore he says he's to tired but i know it's a lie because he used to cuddle with me all the time. But for the past 2 weeks things are changing. He doesn't kiss me unless i ask him and he doesn't say i love you unless I say it first. I feel like my feelings for him are going away and i don't want that to happen. We get along great and it feels amazing when we cuddle and get along and to hear him say he loves me. i feel like we're drifting away from each other. During the day we don't cuddle and barley talk. he's down stairs watching tv and i'm upstairs. is there anyway to fix this relationship or should we just part ways?
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female
reader, Really44  +, writes (26 January 2014):
 Sex Tbh are you having lots if sex still if not it's usually the problem
Or
Arguments
Or
He's just fallen out of love/lust
The only person who knows is him and you need to ask him x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2014): Sometimes moving apart gives the relationship a jolt. Even more mature couples wait awhile before moving in together.
He knows that you care for him. The novelty that your new relationship used to have, has worn off. Living together is more like being a married couple, instead of a dating couple.
You worry about bills and household responsibilities. Instead of being young and carefree like things used to be. Maybe you just need to live apart, and take some of the pressure off.
I've never thought it to be a good idea for people to live together before the are well into their twenties anyway.
If either of the couple, or both are teens, they become overwhelmed by all the responsibility of earning money, paying bills, and trying to be financially independent of their parents so young.
You didn't mention if you were students, or working full-time. Maybe both.
It's trying to be adults too soon. Usually the living conditions aren't as nice as more established couples with college educations and steady employment. You earn a lot more in your twenties; if you have a college degree. If you're students, you live on a shoestring.
It's hard to be loveable when you're fretting exams, paying bills, and your boss is on your back at work.
Young people your age live in small affordable flats with sparse furnishings from garage sales. Pestered by inconsiderate young friends who invade your privacy without warning. Often using your place as a place to crash, or hangout. You want to seem, cool so you put up with it.
It will stress your relationship.
You start missing the comforts of home. Being single and carefree. You become homesick.
My guess is that he feels like a husband, and he is weary from playing house.
You miss home-cooked meals on the table, clean clothes in the closet; and you paid a minimum, if anything, towards the household budget. Now its all on the two of you. He probably carries most of the financial burden. If you do, then there's another problem.
He is tired. He jumped into living together too soon. Now he may be having second thoughts. It feels too much like being married. You're smothering him with love, and he can't get away from it.
He just isn't mature enough or ready for that. So all his energy and spare cash goes into trying to make the rent, pay utilities and smartphone fees; instead of having fun Saturday nights like he used to have, when you didn't live together.
In a nutshell, you both miss your single carefree days.
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