A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been going out with my girlfriend since 2005 to now.we have been apart mostly because i attend a foreign University and left at a local compass.She finished last year and doing her final year project she visited me thrice...she needed material and finance to do her project. We romanced awhile but never slept with her since she said she wasn't fine with it and we reserve ourselves for honeymoon...i accepted...i had waited 7 years already why blow up now.On her first visit she made a confession of having slept with one guy on campus in 2007 she had dated for a week.She said it was a mistake and was once,she also said she dumped him and the sex was not agreed but got carried away.Her other excuse is that i didn't call her that much then for 2 months but she didn't have a phone in her 1st year.She later denied the confession and said she was joking.Somehow her behavior changed since compass years.She rarely text me,never calls me and when i didn"t call frequently she sent her her mum to call me on my cell and nag me.She refused to visit me here last month since i am working now and she isn't.She told me her mum had told her she wont visit me as it wasn't necessary anymore as she had graduated already.Also she joined facebook in February this year,she has 80 friends and i never got an invitation...my friend request was rejected.Also her phone had some love messages directed to her last year on her visit...she deleted them and denied any relationship.We have been planning on having an engagement in August and wedding in December this year..Since then she has been acting funny again,at times not picking up my calls,not replying my messages on Whatsapp...Today as i had to see my uncle who was to organise our engagement and wedding she stopped me.she told me we had to discuss some issues..i called her and she later sent me a message that she actually had slept with a guy in 2007 and lost her virginity.She warned me not to tarnish her image and should keep it a secret.The reason is she is scared of the church and her reputation as she will be discharged of duties.She said i was to choose if i wanted her or not.She even apologised and said she will be never cheat again.My question is what should i do..8 years sexless relationship..i have been doing international calls daily to her for 5 years...last year alone i spent alot to get her to graduate well,her clothes and even her sisters,..and i turn 28 in 3 weeks then i get such news before i settle down.Our families are close and we attend the same church..My pain is time lost.Do i need to waste hers as well or what?If i cancel these plans,my image and my age....can i start afresh now at 28 and be married on time?
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male
reader, Cutless  +, writes (28 May 2012):
She does not worth to be your wife..one thing i learnt is that cheating with another guy and having sex with him isnt and wil never be a mistake.last time i checked(last nite)sex is sweet.she did it on her own free will.take my humble advice,Break up with her and get over it,28 is never too late to get married,she doesnt like you,sorry to say that.and a cheat will always be a cheat.cause they are never faithful.if you allow her into your life she wil cheat again.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2012): Put aside the virginity issue for this discussion. Too many people will make up their minds to be critical of you as soon as they hear that topic enter the conversation, regardless of what the situation is.
Here is what is most relevant: Your GF made you wait for 8 years without sex and she cheated with someone else during that time.
That is all you need to know. BREAK UP WITH HER AND FIND SOMEONE WHO RESPECTS YOU. This girl might love you but she definitely does not respect you.
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