A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been talking to this guy for three months since I met him in one of my classes at college. He showed interest in me from day 1 and asked me if I can talk to him on the phone so he could get to know me better. There is a 10 year age difference between us, I am 22 and he is 32. He has been showing me signs of interest and in the beginning things started great and he would always text to see me and call me to check up once in a while. I really felt a lot of interest from him and didn't have a doubt in my mind about it. He has also complimented me numerous times on my looks, intelligence, and character. He told me I have the qualities of his ideal wife, but lately I feel that he has become distant and is afraid of commitment. However, he is busy with research, and studying for his LSAT while I have been trying to study for my PCAT. Part of me feels that he is distant because he is busy and is trying to get his life together at this age since he stopped school for a while to work, but a part of me doesn't know for sure. After the semester was over, we still hung out, kept in touch, and he would initiate the texts or calls more than me. Lately, I feel that I have been initiating the texts more but he still manages to keep in touch once every few days. We got into a minor fight and didn't keep in touch for about a week and a half. He then texted me appologizing about his actions and we started talking again. During this time, I felt we got closer and started talking on the phone for 2 hours if not more for the few days shortly after the fight. He also has a certain soft look to him when he looks into my eyes, and we always had really deep and intellectual conversations. He also told me that I am so smart, and really loves my personality. But a few days ago I wanted a clearer answer from him since I didn't know exactly where we stood after the fight as we didn't really talk about us. So I asked him if he liked me as more than just a friend, and he didn't know what to say. There was an awkward silence between us for like 4 minutes and so I got upset, answered the question for him by saying No and left it at that. He then told me that it's nothing personal, but he feels that he is not ready for a commitment with any girl, and that it was him and not me. However, he did tell me that if he were to get married right now and was ready, I would be the perfect girl. I'm really confused about whether or not he is truly afraid of commitment or is just trying not to hurt my feelings. I really think he likes me and may also be in denial about it. I told him you seem like you're the type who won't know a good thing til it's gone, and he told me that could be the case. He also said that he could like me but doesn't know it when I told him that I felt he did and was denying it. Please help and let me know what your thoughts are. Thank you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2010): well maybe this guy has been in bad relationships in the past? some people after bad relationships get damaged and their trust can go, maybe he just isn't ready. It doesn't mater what age you can be, even if he is 32 its not that old, so maybe because he is back in college he feels like he wants to do more things before he settles down. Just the way he talks to you i would say that he likes you but is afraid to make a move, i wouldn't hang on waiting for him to make a move, i would get out their with other guys, then he will relise what he lost, but you wont be happy just waiting around for him, be his friend, but dont wait around!!
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