A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been dating just four months. We met online and before we met, he was very upfront and honest about him joining the Navy. He just left for a 7-week bootcamp which will be followed by a 24-week training. He plans to work in IT for the Navy. We had an amazing four months together, met one another's family and friends, and have travel plans to see one another. Everything else is up in the air. I tried reading about what he's doing as much as I can so I can be informed. Other than that, does anyone have advice on dating someone in the military and/or long distance? It's not my first long distance relationship but it's my first time being with someone in the military. It's also his first time in the military. I believe we are both independent and committed people who can handle this kind of relationship, but I'm sure there will also be surprises along the way. We hope to get married in a year or two if things progress, so I can go where he goes. I normally would not have gone for someone who I knew was leaving, but he is truly the person for me. He is so considerate, respectful, responsible, mature, and supportive, and the first person I am both strongly physically and emotionally attracted to. In fact, I wasn't particularly physically attracted to him at first but fell head over heels in love as I got to know him.
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female
reader, hilary  +, writes (15 May 2020):
 It is great that you have found someone you click with so well,someone who is perfect in many ways. Go for it, enjoy it, make the most of it, work at it. You sound very mature and smart and do not really need help, just support and encouragement. The only advice I would add is that you may get times when you get lonesome or bored and it would be a good idea to still go out with people, still have a busy social life, do not just sit around waiting for a call or text from your beloved putting your life on hold. That helps you to be more laid back about it all, balances things out more, and gives you other things to think and talk about as well as do. Long distance relationships are great if you are both putting in the same and getting out the same. When one is sitting waiting and waiting it can make them very miserable and that eats into the relationship and can destroy it.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (25 October 2019):
 You two have to TALK about what is realistic.
In boot camp he might not have his phone for those 7 weeks, he might however be able to send and receive letters. Which is a LOVELY way for you two to stay in touch and get to know a little more about each other.
Boot camp might ALSO take more then 8 (not 7) weeks, if he gets "recycled" for whatever reason.
So BE aware of that.
The 6 months of training might also mean that he won't be able to text you a lot during the day. But he might have might have one or more weekends off. So if possible spend time when you can see him. It DOES mean that you kind of have to plan YOUR life around his career at some point. But that isn't the hard part for many.
You won't really know if this is going to work, yet.
Here are some websites that can give you some information too:
https://www.thebalancecareers.com/navy-surviving-military-boot-camp-4058458
https://navygirlfriendsurvivalguide.wordpress.com/
https://themilitarywifeandmom.com/military-girlfriend-best-pieces-of-advice/
You can google more resources as you progress, these were just some quick ones I pulled for you.
IT IS doable, but it will require a LOT of hard work, trust and good communication to work.
If you do get access to his Boot camp Facebook page, DO NOT post sweet nothings, rants or dumb questions. Seriously. Use it to follow the groups progress. TALK to HIM on HIS Facebook, over text and letters. I can't tell you how much DRAMA these Facebook groups can create. Urgh.
And BE smart, BE on birth-control and also use condoms, YOU DO NOT want a kid until the two of you are REALLY ready and a COHESIVE unit. As in known each other for a much longer time.
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