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Abusive, and manipulative, but I still hang on, should I break with him and not look back?

Tagged as: Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 December 2008) 1 Answers - (Newest, 21 January 2009)
A female Singapore age 51-59, *entor67 writes:

I need some advice urgently. At my age, I cant imagine I'm still having to ask for advice when I know its wrong...so wrong to hold on to this relationship.

Well, I've been with this boyfriend of mine who does nothing but ask for money, be abuse, temperamental and what's worst is that he hid his marriage till I found out. Yet I held on cos he promised me that his marriage was planned and like a prenuptial agreement so as to obtain his pass to remain in the country. but he has a son who is now 2 years old.

he sees me occasionally and was recently caught for going against the law for consumption of an illegal drug. he was approached by the officers at his own matrimonial home.

he is now instilling guilt in me and have asked me to help out with his lawyer fees and that i'm wicked to see him struggling. so i did suggest that its time to ask your wife since you spend more time at home and after all, you are still married although u have promised year after year that it would end. i still held on with hope. he would come visit me angry, upset and be abusive some times. well he hasn't hit me for 2 months now but have been extremely emotionally abusive towards me.

so my help is that, should i help him with more money to pay for his lawyer fees to help with his charge of consumption of illegal drugs. next is that he instils guilt in me for helping him with such a minimal amouunt. he needed 1k and i only helped him out with 300. i've helped him out many times financially and now again when i don't help he starts to turn around. one moment he is extremely loving sending me loving messages and next moment he turns around and tells me i'm wicked and all he did was to love me and now he needs help i'm no where to be found. but its not true, i call every day and night, help him financially, provide him with small amounts for day-to-day living. not much but still i help when i can.

i'm so lost i don't know what to do anymore...help!!!!

View related questions: drugs, emotionally abusive, money

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A female reader, Chisa United States +, writes (21 January 2009):

Chisa agony auntMy mom always told me to never get into that type of relationship..if i did first thing to d isto get out fast. Never hang in an abusive relationship.

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