A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Although this is not a love question but I've alway received tremendous helps from all the cupids from this site, I thought it is best to ask for advice regarding this matter from you. Here is the back story and I will start briefly since the time I graduated highschool in 2010. My mind had been set on majoring in Architecture since middle school. It is a passion that I can not deny. Instead of going to an elite university, I decided to attend a local community college and received my AAS degree in Engineer and drafting. If I have a time machine, I would tell myself to stay and finish til I receive a BA in Mechanical Engineer, then persuit MA in Architecture. But I did not. Instead, I believe I need to return to my original path and pursuit Architecture as planned. I was accepted to U-A and U-B. U-A offers a 4 year BA of architecture and it is local, only 30 minute drive from home. U-B, which is where I am currently attended because it offers the 5 years program for architecture. I have to say, Archi program in U-B is designed to break souls. Only the strongest survives and wins, and I'm begining to think...I'm on the losing team. The first semester wasn't bad, I constantly was busy with work and assigments, I hardly have time to sleep than to think about my decision. I am not afraid of the work load. But this semester, when the work load is reasonable, I had more time to settle and think. I begin to notice that my thought about persuing architecture is not going very strong. I kept thinking the decision I've made was horrible. I'm not cut out to be an architect. I spend alot of thought in designing but when it comes to pin-up time. I just get the kind of feedbacks that I think is telling me "I can't". I know my presentation skill needs alot of work but besides all of that, I'm begining to be afraid, and kept thinking that I either should return to U-A and enroll in the 4 year programs or return to engineer. I could say I am going through a strong moment of uncertainty. When I don't understand something or feeling like I'm not doing what is right, my mind plays trick on me and tell me "You shouldn't be here." I clearly am concious of it.That's why I am puzzling right now and need advices beyond the boundary of my own head. I also don't know how to break this to my parents. They are proud of me because I am accepted to U-B and the carreer choice I made. But it is also about my sister, who, in a way, disappointed them. She received a BA in biology but instead of pursuing a career in BIO she became a small business entrepreneur. Which made me think about my own future. My boyfriend of 4 years is not helping at all because he keeps saying how I should of listen to him and not move away. A part of me doesn't want to admit that he's right...but then again...I was selfish and was only thinking about myself. This is a big question to ask for advice. But I really need help with some thoughts on whether I should transfer back to U-A and continue with the 4 years programs? Or suck it up and dive in to U-B program until the end.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2014): Architecture is really really hard anywhere, trust me on that one.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2014): This is where you find out that becoming an educated person is not only a matter of learning skills and knowledges, but also involves self development.Being educated is not only about having a qualification, it is about gaining life skills with which to approach life itself. Whatever job you aim to get as a result of your education will be chosen according to your approach to life as well as to your ability to fit the job. And your ability to stay in and feel fulfilled by your job will also boil down to your approach and emotional - yes emotional - maturity in dealing with it. If you don't build your emotional repertoire now you are likely to make the wrong choices over and over again and not find any job or further study fulfilling.As it is, you are focusing only on the knowledges and skills required of you, not on how you approach these. And it probably feels impossible to do the latter because of time pressures. But architecture is not just about building structures for people to use and inhabit. You have an inner structure, your emotions and attitudes, and right now the best thing you could do would be to create a space and time for this to be built. Think of it as a kind of infra-structure, or a very special room or part of a building without which nothing else will hold in place.To develop this part of the structure I suggest you start with college counselling. They are great at helping people like you who feel they are only just keeping their head above water and feeling troubled by that. You could also buy a good self help book - Self Esteem for Dummies, for example or Confidence Building for Dummies - these are a really good series of books that help you to identify problems, tune into your feelings about them and to move on in ways that are right for you as a whole person. At the moment you can't make the right decisions and feel uncertain because you are not properly tuned into and processing your feelings. Your boyfriend is NOT helping you only adding to self doubt. This is not effective as part of your healthy processing.Again, go to counselling - it's not just for 'losers' who are completely failing, it's for anyone who needs help in relation to uni. life.Good luck
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A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (5 March 2014):
 Hi OP!
I completed a PhD last year, and I can tell you, it was not easy. In fact it was the hardest thing I think I have ever done! There were days when I cried, and could easily have packed it all in because I was so tired, demoralised and depressed. But I kept going and got there in the end!
My advice would be - hang on in there. If U-B is far more prestigious, the it HAS to be more demanding. But at the end of it you get a qualification that has more meaning within your profession.
How do you know that U-A will not be just as tough? Or that they will even accept you? You could easily be creating a massive problem for yourself.
Everyone has moments of doubt about whether their degree is the right thing for them.
You mentioned presentations - Architecture is not just about designing, it is about selling YOUR work and selling yourself to prospective clients. You can design the prettiest, greenest, most classy building but if you put it across like a sack of spuds you won't get the jobs. Presenting work isn't easily and most people will be nervous beforehand - it is how you learn to cover your nerves that will get you ahead of the game. But this can be worked on and skills learnt.
Have confidence in yourself, and if you feel that you need to work on something, there are many places to help you within the university system- you just have to ask!
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