A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:About three years ago (summer 2009), I hooked up with this guy who I thought could be more than just a friend (and it was a mutual feeling). We tried to make things work between us (sexy/ flirtatious texts), and logistically it never did/could ever work out (different schools, etc). About two summers ago, I went home for the summer and we ended up working together. We put our feelings aside and tried not to make things awkward and just carried on with our lives because I thought there was nothing there anymore. A friend (also worked with us) knew that we had a "thing" in the past but she ended up dating the guy starting that summer 2010 until last week. I get random get a message from him saying that he wants to see me and hangout with me. Keep in mind that we never officially dated, hooked up three years ago and he hasn't spoken/seen me in almost two years.I know we had/have chemistry, but I just want to know (I need advice actually!) if this is just a rebound...or he actually had feelings for me because again, I haven't spoken to him/seen him in almost two years and he wants to try to make things work now since we both are now in different places with our lives. HELP!!
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (25 May 2012):
 Yes, you could easily be a rebound or .. booty call.
Now if you two hang out and do NOT have sex and see where it go, if he SERIOUSLY want to be with you he can wait for sex.
BUT if you don't feel you are in the same place in life, maybe he is not what YOU want/need. JUST because HE think/says he wants to be with you doesn't mean you are OBLIGATED to do so.
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (25 May 2012):
 Sure, you could be rebound and most likely are, but it's also possible that you were the "one that got away" in his eyes as well. It sounds from your post that life got in the way of you two being together, and the timing was bad.
I say go for it with ONE big caveat:
Do not have sex with him. Keep it ultra slow, as in no sex for months. You'll find out whether or not he wants to use you (he'll push sex FAST and tug at your heartstrings for pity sex), or he's looking to honestly explore what might have been with you.
Why did he break up with his girlfriend? If he cheated on her, I'd say to stop it cold right then and there.
I'd say see where it goes because of your prior history and the reason why you didn't last, but no sex, and keep it ultra slow to see what his intentions are in the long run.
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A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (25 May 2012):
 Yes, of course it's a rebound. He won't magically have developed feelings for you after not contacting you for 2 years.
Sounds like he wants to use you.
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