A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:It's my first time online dating and I met a likable European guy. He is 28 and I don't expect him to have much money. I really like him and I was to visit him first but because of my work I can't at the moment. He decided to visit first. I live in west Africa.I just got a job after some years of unemployment with a not so great pay. I am nervous and feel guilty telling him he has to pay for his hotel bill because I haven't saved enough to cover it and he offered me his home when I visit. I feel really guilty. I wouldn't have earned enough to cover his bills by the time he arrives. I feel really bad. Do I end it because I can't be hospitable.
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (22 June 2017):
 It is his cost. Same as if you would visit him and not stay at his house (or share his bed right away) then you should also pay your own hotel room. Offering private accomodation is not the same as paying for a hotel room.
A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (22 June 2017):
 If he doesn't have the money, he shouldn't come. You can't and shouldn't pay for it, neither should he stay with you.
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A
male
reader, judgedick  +, writes (21 June 2017):
 He wants to come to see you so it is at his cost to get to you and to put himself up, if you went to him he offered to put you up, but this would be high risk for you, in the same way if he stayed at your place you would still be at risk. The first think that comes to my mind is if he is from Europe even with small amount of money will get a lot more in your country than it would in Europe . The other thing is where do you stand if at the end of the first night he wants sex. Do you start thinking he is just ok but has spent all this money to come all this way to see me, and do more than if you lived in the same town? I am just putting up a few points for you to see what you think what is the best thing to say to him when you chat next, as it is, you know this guy better than I.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2017): Your financial circumstances don't allow for you to pay his hotel bill; which could be enormous depending on where he stays. If he uses special accommodations, or adds to the bill, like using the mini-bar, the bill could break the bank! He could over-stay, and they'd have your credit-card information to charge it to.
You've never met this man, know nothing about him accept what you have been told; and he wants to come all the way to West Africa to meet you. Then it's his responsibility to cover his travel and expenses. Not yours. Of course you could spring for dinner, drinks, and movie tickets. A gentleman would never ask a lady he hardly knows to pay for his hotel stay. If you insist and have the financial means, that's different.
You would be taking quite a risk to invite a man you've never met before into your home. You'd be a fool to pay his hotel expenses when the date and all could go wrong.
First and foremost, be honest with people. You'd be better off meeting people in your own country; if you don't have the financial-means to travel international.
You're going way too far out of your way for someone who's only "likeable!" He'd be traveling approximately 3000 miles to see you, depending on where he is located in Europe.
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