A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Ok, so my wife is a bartender and she has these two openly gay customers.These customers are always hit on by women, as I must admit they are very handsome, but never show any interest as they are 100% gay.With that being said, one of them while at the bar together as my wife to let him do a body shot off of her navel.She rejected and told me, and I don't suspect anything about her, however, should I be pissed at the guy? These guys get kisses (no tongue or anything) from some of the bartenders and it's ok because they are gay and aren't attracted to women.My point is I am not attracted to men, but would that make it A-Ok to kiss other men? or ask married men to do a body shot off of them? Why is it acceptable for a gay guy to do, but not a straight guy? (Not that I want to or anything.) My point to my wife was more that maybe these gay guys are 100% gay, but rather bi? They could be playing up the gay card to get extra attention. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2010): oops, didn't read that your wife is the bartender. either way, its HER job to flirt too. and if they were really trying to get with her like you think they are, they would try to do way more than just kiss and do shots. like they would ask for her number or something. clearly it is completely non-sexual. they don't want what's below the belt, only what's above. and not in the way that you do.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2010): i'm gay and i kiss my girl-friends all the time, i even used to do it while their boyfriends were there just because it's funny... and fun. it means nothing to us. for me and most other gay dudes it's just a good time, we don't read into it at all. PLUS he's a bartender, that's his job duh. it's one thing if SHE is enjoying it a bit more than they are, or in a different way. but i am almost positive that they don't like her LIKE THAT. they are just having a good time. if you kissed another GIRL who was your friend but was a total lesbian i don't think that would be a problem.. but then again straight guys generally don't respect the fact that the girl is a lesbian & they think they're really actually bisexual or like "confused", so it would seem like you are trying to "turn" her. ultimately i think you need to ask why your girlfriend does it, not why the guys do. you must be insecure if you feel your relationship is threatened by a gay dude.
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A
male
reader, maybe-not  +, writes (30 January 2010):
 if he have a penis, he is threat. he doesn't even need a penis to be a threat. she can cheat with another women.
but yes it is a threat.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2010): Hypothetically, if your wife cheats on you with anyone, it really doesnt matter if they are bi, gay, lesbian, or anything. But seeing things in a context helps. A belly shot isn't what most people would consider out of line, but it if makes you uncomfortable, I am glad to hear you and your wife are on the same page. No need to get mad at the gay guy though! If anyone should be mad, or has the right to be offended, it is your wife. This is her battle, not yours. She said no, hopefully they will respect that in the future and not bother her with it again.
PS. my now ex-boyfriend once kissed my brother at a party. Neither are gay. I really didn't know what to say or think, I think I would have gotten pissed off if he had kissed a girl, but my brother? As neither are gay, I knew there wasn't anything to do with attraction, and neither of them made a deal out of it, my boyfriend even laughed while telling me, like it was no big issue. Like it was okay for him to kiss my brother? So I am confused about that as well, but given that there seems to be many gray-zones in that area I let it slip, and he promised to never do it again.
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