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A friend who wants to be more than friends?

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Question - (14 March 2011) 2 Answers - (Newest, 14 March 2011)
A female United States age 36-40, *rikandie0818 writes:

I'm wondering if a friend of mine wants to be more than friends. We started out as coworkers a little over a year ago and have become good friends. I'm 25 and he's 30. We have many things in common and we hang out a lot after work. I'm confused though because sometimes I get some signals that he might be into me and then sometimes I feel like he's just a guy friend.

We've gone out to the usual dinner and movie but we've never called it a date and I always pay for my half. We call each other on the phone and text quite a bit and we talk about silly stuff. At work, we flirt with each other and he is always invading my personal space like pulling my hair or trying to steal my phone. We've even sat in the car and have had good long intimate conversations about our past relationships. We eat lunch together every single day. He invites me to concerts since we both like the same music. He gets jealous when other guys hit on me and when I've called him on it, he doesn't say anything. I catch him looking at me all of the time and he's always around my cubicle. My entire office has pretty much married us and call him my husband and he plays along with it by calling me "dear". He has a nickname for me and he tries to make me laugh. We play fight all of the time and I tell him that he enjoys arguing with me. Our teasing even gets a bit naughty and flirtatious but it's all in good fun. He hugs me goodbye when we go out and he once kissed me on the cheek. We don't hold hands or anything like that but I think he's just not making a move. I know for a fact that he's a bit timid with girls. I know that he was jealous for a while when I was dating someone. He would bring up the name of the guy I was dating all of the time. He still brings him up to tease me even though I'm no longer dating that guy. When he went out of the country, I was the only one he called and talked to amongst our friends. I've got everyone in the office asking him and I if we're dating and even his best friend has already asked me if I would ever date him, but all I said was "no comment". He knows that I go out on dates and teases me about the guys I go out with. We take our afternoon break by going for a walk around the block where our office is. I'm confused by the fact that he treats me like one of the guys sometimes. He's constantly jokingly that (and points to his body) he is not mine and that I shouldn't have any illusions about him, but he always says it as a joke, before saying that it isn't true and that he's all mine, even calling me his "girl". It's really confusing.

His behavior when we're alone together is also confusing. When we're at work, he and I flirt and tease each other, even play fight. When he and I are alone, like out to dinner, he gets kind of quiet. He has told me before that when he's around a girl he likes, he doesn't act like himself. CONFUSED!

View related questions: at work, best friend, co-worker, flirt, jealous, teasing, text

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2011):

Well, based on this scenario, its a bit obvious that he and you are tilting towards the "why dont you two just date already?!" state, but in reality, some guys may be odd like that, in a perspective of a guy, he seems like the one that doesn't want to make the first move, I would suggest that you may catch him on a "date" somewhere and you yourself pop the question, its just a suggestion, and may not be a good one, but its an option in case every sign leads to love :D Just a suggestion

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2011):

Sounds like he's really keen and has told you so in a roundabout way, so why not say something like hey, are we dating or what? and see how he responds. You could turn it into a joke and ask if he wants to kiss you. He sounds so shy he is afraid to make a move, but to my eyes you are already dating. What you need to find out, from him, is how he sees it.

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