A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My bf and I have been together for almost three years yet have been friends since he was 9 and I was 10. I'm overweight (5'7", 190 lbs) and a few days after we started 10th grade I was feeling down and he said to me "if you did some more physical exercises you will come to be more physically attractive" (he's foreign--this isn't something a typical American would say, I know). Sure, it's true, but the comment still hurts a little even today when I think about it. He is very, very physically fit and even received a soccer scholarship to the university he goes to. He has a 6 pack and everything. He is a virgin, and he and I both feel that we're ready for sex considering that we've been together for some time (and as an African, sex is a...umm...big deal for him and not a casual thing). That said, when I think about this his comments from so long ago still linger in my mind--underneath all of the "I love you"s and "you're beautiful"s does he really think I'm lucky or wish he could do better?I'm sure I should have addressed it when he said that and at the same time, I can't deny what he said. It's the only thing of this nature that he's ever said to me, the only hurtful way he's ever really addressed me. Now that sex is an issue, I feel like I can't hold it in any longer. Making out, spooning, and all of that other stuff is one thing, but the fact that he'll see me totally naked for the first time (yes, seriously, lol) is a whole different arena for me as someone who was sexually abused and teased throughout my childhood. I have to address this with him. Period. How do I bring this up, hopefully having an honest conversation, without me seeming too defensive or sensitive about the whole thing?Thoughts?
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