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*orriedhusband
writes: I married my wife last Dec. A few weeks ago I saw her email and discovered she having affair with some guys from the internet and had sex with them few days before our wedding and I also discovered she loves meeting guys from the internet and even exchange nude pictures with them.I love her very much and I don't understand why she's doing all these to me. Till now she still don't know I saw those emails and she even tells me she love me and wanna spend the rest of her life with me. I even try hinting to her but she never admits anything. It really hurts and is a big blow to me. How can I stop her from doing all this? Friends advise me to divorce her but I really love her a lot. What should I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2005): I have to wonder why your wife is doing this? It almost sounds like sexually addictive behaviour. To have meaningless sexual partners..cybersex, e-mails and the whole gamut is not healthy for a young woman who just committed herself to the union of marriage. Not only is what she's doing...very disloyal but it's very disrespectful to you. If she has an addiction, she needs serious professional help. Does she have low self-worth? People who are introverts (shy and/or who have poor self-esteem may find that the Internet serves as a sanctuary of sorts. They get their emotional needs met on the internet. She may feel desired, needed and important in this new world. As her self-esteem is apparently rising (however, this is a distorted and due to an unrealistic nature), she spends more time on the Internet. Soon, she may be satisfying almost all of her emotional and physical needs through the Internet. She has her friends; she can build relationships; she can be sexual or engage in cybersex anytime she wishes without the embarrassment. In essence, she can be everything on the Internet that she perceives she is not in real life. if you feel this is a problem with her..then help her to understand this and you two can get couple counselling. But once again, using the internet to gain sexual partners is wrong, especially for a young new bride. Happy, well-adjusted, newly married people...simply don't do this. Her emotional needs are being met in some perverse way though this behaviour and if she continues...it will eventually destroy your marriage.
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reader, becky05 +, writes (30 June 2005):
First, you need to get solid proof. Show her what you have found on the internet and she wont be able to lie about it.Tell her (firmly) that you want her to stop otherwise your marriage will be over.If this fails, I would get rid of the computer. If she cant be trusted she doesnt deserve the freedom.
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