A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My ex and I have been broken up for about 6 months now. We were together for almost 3 years. We still talk to eachother every day and hangout/hook up 1 or 2 times a week. We are comfortable with each other and talk about anything, but neither of us ever bring up our feelings for one another. He is usually the one who initiates everything. He still talks to a lot of my family and comes to some family events. Right after the breakup I wanted to get back together but he insisted that the breakup was for the best, which I now agree it was. I feel that I learned a lot from the breakup and would be in a much better place to get back together now. Whenever we hang out my ex acts as though we are still dating and is very affectionate. Neither of us have dated anyone else since we have been broken up. Sorry this was so long but I just need someone elses opinion. I don't know if he is just stringing me along or if he is afraid or not yet ready to admit his feelings. I am getting to a point where I either want to try something again or I need to move on. I am just afraid to bring it up to him and ruin what we do have now bc I enjoy our friendship and hanging out with him. I guess I am confused about what I want out of this and want to know what he is thinking. How can I figure out what he wants without coming out and asking him?
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get back together, move on, my ex Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Dee206-7 +, writes (23 June 2009):
 Move on.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2009): My advice is to seize the upper hand and break it off. This may seem kind of calculating, but I've been on both sides of the fence and believe me, whoever initiates the break up always has the upper hand. Basically, just start rejecting his advances and stop hanging out with him. Suddenly being busy and not having time for him should send the appropriate message. Us men are funny creatures. We can be contemplating breaking off a relationship, but if she preempts us, we instantly realize how great she was and how much we really didn't want it to end. The tricky part is to reject his advances enough so that he feels like he has to actively do sweet things and put forth effort to get back in your good graces, but not so much that he thinks it's a lost cause and gives up on it. Much easier said than done.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2009): Tell him once in a 'friendly' way that you have reached the conclusion that he is the only one you have actually 'loved' in your life.
1- This would work like magic.
2- I am under the impression that it is probably a true statement based on you what you said, and 'how' you said it.
After saying that statement bring up smoothly any funny love-related subject / story to move swiftly out of the mood of the statement you said, then switch to an entirely different / normal topic and continue talking.
Chances are that things would start heating up inside of him. :)
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