A
female
age
30-35,
*zhopelesslove
writes:I am a 25 year old woman into my career, with my own home, a degree, and huge goals for my future. I have been dating a 33 year old guy for a few months now, and he still lives at home with his parents (who are not sick or elderly in anyway). He has never lived on his own, he still doesn’t know what he wants to do with his life as far as a career (he has a job, but nothing he likes doing) and his idea of “hard work” is washing his clothes or cleaning his room..With him there is no drive for a better life, or planning for a wife one day, or a family. Am I being mean? Should I just cut him off? Do I tell him why I am leaving?
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female
reader, mzhopelesslove +, writes (1 September 2015):
mzhopelesslove is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all sooooo much for your responses! I took your advice, followed my heart and mind, and broke things off with him..I am so happy with where I am going in my future, and I can't take passengers with me!...
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2015): At 33 if he does not have his shit together he is a loser with a large l and will hold you back from all of your dreams.Do you want to support him then come home and do all the housework on top of that?Maybe he has a mental illness or drug addiction do you want that?Cut him off tell him or ghost him but you can do way better.Something is way off with this guy and you know it.You are not being mean at all you need to make yourself number 1.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2015): Ditch him. You're not remotely similar and already you seem to be iritated by this lack of motivation from him. You're not being mean, you're being honest. You both have different outlooks on life.
You could tell him why you're not going to date jim anymore, but he is who he is so I doubt he would change.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (20 August 2015):
 I think he is who he is. He has NEVER been motivated to move out of move up career-wise because he has two elderly parents who dotes on him and like to have him around.
Personally, I don't think you two are a great match as far as goals, dreams and the future.
I'd think at 33 he would have a CLUE of where he wants to head in life, yet he doesn't. He is fine with living at home.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2015): You are not being mean, the guy is just not for you and honestly I don't know for who?
Heis very lay back and not ambitious. I am sure that how he likes it. If you are a different person then you will struggle with his personality.
I have to admit it but I live with someone like that for 30 years.
Thought he is a wonderfull man and a wonderfull father and caring husband, his lack of ambition resulted us in never reaching a point where we can live somewhat comfortable with finances.
He never thinks of anything, all the problems in our lives are resolved by me.
And you will have the same life , believe me and all the bills will be only your responsibility not his.
I would tell him, softly, I am sure he already heard it and not once
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2015): Like you by the time I was 25 I had my degree and own house and great future ahead. My mother gave me some good advice "Never take a passenger."
If this guy is not on your level or even aspiring to do more I doubt it will work.
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