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*ewlymarried
writes: Hi everybodyI think my question is not uncommon. I ejaculate within 3-6 mts. I try to think about my work, my boss and any other non-sex stuff but it doesn't work out. My wife gets angry with me whenever this happen. I think some people out here may have some suggestion and advice for me. thanks
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2005): Don't think about other things, just consentrate on what you are feeling, if you ejaculate you ejaculate then simply go for round 2...you will last longer the next time...then round 3, and much longer the third time....etc
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reader, emmie2409 +, writes (24 May 2005):
Hi there,As all of the other responses have stated, this is certainly a common thing and nothing abnormal at all.I'd like to give you a woman's perspective on this in terms of my own experience. In my opinion it's probably not the DURATION of your lovemaking that your wife is unhappy with.I personally love it when my boyfriend reaches orgasm quickly, because it makes me feel like he really wants me. And so the longer it takes him, the more I think I am doing something wrong!I personally only become frustrated if other aspects of sex aren't satisfying me. She may feel like you are having orgasms, and she is left 'high and dry' as it were.I would suggest one of two things. Firstly, as many of the other replies have stated, experiment with other ways of pleasing her, and either wait until she is satifsied before you begin intercourse, or make SURE that she is satisfied after you've finished!Alternatively, I would say that if you find you cannot sustain your erection long enough to please both of you, it would be a great idea to frequently say 'ok, let's do this and it's all about you', and literally spend a good hour pleasing your wife without the aim of intercourse. This way, she will feel completely loved and satisfied - and those 3 minute quickies will seem less like a one sided sex life!
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2005): It can be worth talkin to your wife about masturbating you before sex until you cum. Then concentrate on her for 5-10 mins and I'm sure you`ll be rock hard again and ready to go; now when you have sex with her you`ll last quite a while. Make it as fun as possible, not some kind of science experiment.x
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reader, tlynn +, writes (17 May 2005):
For starters tell her, "You're still that great I find it hard to control myself." Next, take the time to use toys or find other ways to get her started before you jump in and she will be thankful... and so will you!!!
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reader, Coco +, writes (16 May 2005):
Hi,If you have been doing your 3-6mins action for a very long time, there could be an issue she is not 'there' yet when it ended on your part. This could lead to a huge frustration if it occurs all the time. You should talk to her about it or suggest 'fore-play' as big part of your sex actions. It will help to stimulate her and also remember to make her feels really sexy. Think, you've got your other body parts to offer too.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2005): Hi hun.You are absolutely right this is not an uncommon problem.You have already done one of the things which can help.Have you tried making love more often or masturbating in between or a little while before you make love as sometimes if it is a long time in between lovemaking then you could simply be so pent up that you will have no control or very little over ejaculation.If you enjoy a long period of foreplay before hand try cutting down a little on the time you spend doing this as this could be taking you so far that when you actually start penetrative sex it will not last so long.Your wife may need you to talk to her too so that she knows that you are trying to sort this out for her sake as much as yours and shouting at you about it really isn`t going to help you either it simply makes you worry about it more i really hope that this may help you a little.Take care and good luck.
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reader, tazmanya +, writes (16 May 2005):
Certainly your problem is not uncommon. There are certainly several courses of action you could take. Firstly I think its a good thing that you are wanting to do something about this issue and that you are concerned about your wife reaction. For starters if your wife needs to stop getting angry because it's not helping you or the situation. She would be best to put her emotional energy into supporting you in seeking expert advice thru a doctor, sexual therapist or a specialist. You yourself need to discover what causes such a quick reaction and learn to control your body. I'm no expert but I've heard there are techniques and pressure points on the penis you can apply to control ejaculation which you can experiment with through masturbation. However do seek professional advice because you are not alone in your problem. Good luck and tell your wife to chill out!
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reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (16 May 2005):
 Your wife getting angry with you probably isn't helping matters!I would suggest that you initially concentrate on your wife. Plenty of foreplay whereby you touch, stroke and caress her. Use a vibrator on her if she likes. It may be an idea for her to experience an orgasm prior to penetration. This eases the pressure off you.When you do have intercourse, stop worrying about if you ejaculate too soon. Make your wife aware of the fact that you are working on trying not to ejaculate quickly but you have to stop worrying about it first! Don't allow her angry response to affect you as she should be supporting you. (I know this is all easier said than done).Why not try having intercourse more than once? Okay, so maybe the first time you may come really quickly but trying building gradually up to another orgasm. Penetration will last much longer.You could try the squeeze technique which involves your partner squeezing the base or tip of your penis before you have an orgasm to delay it.In private, you could masturbate and get to know exactly when you feel the need to 'let go' and learn yourself how to delay it and hold it off. Then when you are with your wife, when you think you are able to have an orgasm, try to delay it by gently pushing her to stop or signalling to her to cease movement so you can reduce arousal a little. Then, when you are ready, you can begin again.Explain to your wife what you are trying to do and enlist her support.I hope this helps.
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