A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My three month anniversary with my girlfriend is today. She has asked me to post a long post on her wall. We have been through alot together and really are thinking about the future together. What do I say. Please help.. I need help fast I am running out of time..
View related questions:
anniversary Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (24 February 2014):
 Wow.. she asks you to do something completely juvenile and immature and you say "yes dear but I don't know how"
WOW... KEEPING relationships OFF of FACEBOOK or twitter or any other social medial is a sign of maturity.
she's an attention whore.... and ASKING you to POST something on her WALL for the world to see... that's the epitome of it...
IF it was me, I would post it on her wall and set it just so YOU and her can see it and none of her friends.. THEN you have done what she wanted and yet complied with being a mature adult... OH WAIT that's so very PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE OF ME. (does it still count as PA if you know it and do it on purpose???)
Did you ASK Her why she demanded this childishness from you?
I would have asked her why she needed this first of all and then responded to just that.
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (24 February 2014):
 Well, it was yesterday, so what did you end up doing??
How could you have been through a lot together in 3 months?? That is quite impossible unless you both had some mutual near-death experience.
She asked you to post a long post on your wall to show off to your friends? That's not cool. I also would wonder if she's trying to make another guy like an ex jealous because you've only been together for 3 months (don't celebrate anniversaries like that, because the "Anni" in anniversary is derivative for the Greek prefix "Anno" meaning "YEAR". Anniversaries are one-year celebrations, so no, she wasn't owed a long post.
This move ranks up there with "Tell me I'm pretty" or "Tell me you love me" or "you never get me any gifts" or the dreaded "Tell me I look better than she does". Don't be manipulated like that. Tell her that by her asking you for gestures of love means that she takes all of the emotion out of them and makes them about duty and obligation, which turns you and most other people on this planet off.
That would be like you telling her to make out with you while you copped a feel of her rear end in front of your friends to display your "property" and take "possession" of her. It's controlling behavior by her to do that, which is why you're squirming on the inside about it.
...............................
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (24 February 2014):
You know what? This is a ridiculous thing to ask of someone, and that's why you're not coming up with anything.
Love details are a personal thing. If I was you I'd tell her as much. You'll find out soon enough that women like to see how much you let them get away with, and will respect someone who's not afraid to say no to them. Ironically when you agree to things like this it can have the opposite effect.
If you feel it's necessary to tell the world you love her than by all means do so, but do it on your own terms in a way that's not going to embarrass you later.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2014): If you want to keep her happy, make it a LONG post! Mention how beautiful she is, how lucky you are to have her and throw in some little personal jokes as well.
The request is a little immature, but for a girl her age AND with how social media is used nowadays, I think she just wants some affection in a public way.
:)
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2014): I will send you a poem my bf gave to me on our first date.......shining in your own way. To bring me a better day. A voice to delight when I hear it....conversation to lift my spirit. Who has touched my soul. Will it be you to make me whole.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2014): She says jump and you say how high?! Seriously, is she trying to make someone jealous or is she insecure about the relationship? You should do something because you want to, not because she tells you too and you should explain to her that relationships should not be conducted via Facebook or any other stupid social media.
I mean three months isn't an anniversary, an anniversary is a yearly thing. If she would like to do something then that's lovely but maybe she needs to calm down. Good grief, I hate Facebook, purely because people behave like this on there. Does she just want people to like the post and say "ohhhh how lovely! You're so in love..." In the days before Facebook you wouldn't send a text to all your friends saying how great your gf or bf is, you'd just tell them to their face or in a card. That would mean a lot more to most normal people.
Sorry for the rant, but really? Maybe tactfully tell her that it would be nicer to tell each other something meaningful, on any day, than write something because you've been told to just because you've been going out three months. I sound like a right old fogey but I'm only 24! Happily in a relationship for nearly 8 years (married 1) and that's without the help of Facebook statuses!
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2014): Update: she wants something for her friends to see please give advice. Thanks again
...............................
A
male
reader, devont  +, writes (23 February 2014):
 I agree with the other poster... Please don't post something on her wall! I find it very immature and very strange that she would request this.
Why not write her a nice message in a pretty card, just saying how much you like her and what the relationship means to you. It doesn't HAVE to be long or fancy, you just need to show her that you care... right?!
...............................
A
male
reader, methuselah +, writes (23 February 2014):
Hi,
I'm not a great fan of these 'anniversaries.'
People need to be natural in dating and relationships and give and take because it is a pleasure for them.
You feel pressured by this, you feel obligated to write something. Therefore, this is not a free expression for you. It is not something to enjoy doing. No, I'm not keen at all on this kind of thing.
However, this hasn't answered your question! Sorry.
But seriously, write a couple of lines and tell her you are having a great time but are just not into writing long amounts of prose on demand. But tell her lovingly!
...............................
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (23 February 2014):
 You write: "Me and (her name here) have been hanging around together for 90 days, now. Isn't that delightful?"
Really, MUST YOU respond to her silly, self-centered and insidious request???????
Ask her: "Hunchy-bunchy, what would you prefer to have; this silly posting that you've requested? .. or a smart, sane, sensitive boyfriend who will be nice to you, indefinitely?"
My God.... ask her to grow up!!!!
...............................
|
