A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I am extremely confused. There's 3 guys that I am interested in, but i don't know if any of them are interested in me. I'm friends with all 3 of them and they're all friends as well. Just for the record, I'm not that pretty and my body is average and my personality is meh.--So, the first guy: He's really cute, but it seems like he can't stand me... He's really mean to me sometimes, but when I confront him about it, he said that he only 'teases' me because he knows i can handle it. And one day, i hurt myself really badly and he was so kind and gentle with me and really helped me out... And we became friends, but then after a couple of months, he just cut off contact with me really suddenly with no explanation whatsoever. i'm so confused, but I can't stop thinking about him..--The second guy is the sweetest guy around. He's playful and he makes me laugh, and we talk a LOT! but he hasn't made a move on me at all and he has this friend whose a girl and they're really close. I would love to go out with him, but I don't want to mess up anything in their relationship dynamic. At the same time, I can totally see the two of us together, but I don't even know if he's interested...--- The third guy, I actually told him that I like him and he didn't reciprocate my feelings, so I let it go. But very recently, he reconnected with me after months of no communication. And without any of the appropriate small talk or formalities, he asked me whether I was dating anyone and gave me a lecture on love and how in love he was with someone, and then went back to ignoring me again.I am beyond confused and I have NO idea what to do!!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank-you @WiseOwlE, I will definitely take your advice to heart. Your words really did make a difference because they resonate with what so many people tell me but what i don't want to accept or believe because they are too familiar to me and I feel as if that forces them to say something nice and wise.
Seriously, thank-you. I'm going to try harder to be a better me rather than what I think each of them want me to be. xx
@SageOldGuy1465, whilst I am sure your words come from a good place, I am a little offended by the advice given particularly the part suggesting that I am a 'strumpet' as you so sensitively remarked. Thank-you anyway.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (26 January 2014):
 Unless you're prepared to be a strumpet available to all of them, you should get away from all of them.....
Later, you can decide if one of them strikes your fancy... and get "back" in-touch with him...
This, being the "hot" babe that all three guys fancy, has no future for you.... unless you are willing to compromise your morals....
Good luck...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2014): It is often hard to trust self-descriptions from young women between 15 to 20. They often don't like their looks or downgrade their appearance; because they don't meet the standards of a fashion-model, or the prettiest girl they know and hate.
"Average" sums it up for the majority of folks. That means you're salvageable in a nice hairdo, fitting clothes, and a smile.
I've learned that when there's no fish biting in the pond where I'm fishing, go fish somewhere else.
If the three guys you've had your eye on don't realize you're interested; it's a good sign that they're not.
It's not always shyness. It could be, they already have you "friend-zoned." I mean permanently. It's wise to give up.
They're familiar, and you have gotten within ten feet of them. So you've decided that is the extent of your selection of guys. Anything outside those parameters are off-limits? Expand your horizons. Be charming and chat with other boys. Let them know you're single and available.
One showed you compassion after you injured yourself. That isn't a sign of love-interest. He was concerned that you hurt yourself.
Just a few words of wisdom.
Guys pickup on girls who have low self-esteem. They don't feel pretty, so their attitude usually isn't very pretty either.
They're okay as friends, like one of the guys. They usually don't do anything about their hair or clothes. They figure nobody cares; or they're just not into dolling themselves up. It's a competitive dating world. Sometimes it take a little extra effort to get a guy's attention. You have to like yourself first. That shines through to the outside.
Your facial expressions and body-language gives off signals guys can read like the little boy who could see dead people.
Maybe the three guys were interested, but lost it over time.
So move on.
Girls are notorious for ignoring the guys who do get up the nerve to try and talk to them. While they're busy pining for the boy who doesn't give them the time of day. Like you're doing right now. You've probably ignored a few boys trying to get your attention; because you think you've already picked out your lot. It's down to three.
Seriously!?
If you don't feel that pretty, do something about it. Ask your mother, sister, or a cousin; what they might suggest to improve your self-image and boost your self-esteem.
Find yourself some beauty secrets to enhance your eyes, lips, or hair. If that's what boys like, give it to them.
Don't limit yourself to the three-stooges. There are other boys out there you should allow to approach you.
Have a more positive attitude about your natural appearance. Don't hate the mirror. Like the girl who looks back as your reflection. If you don't, you're minus three guys and counting.
Liking yourself will show through your personality and make you more attractive to guys. Your number of choices will increase when you believe in yourself; and stop wasting your precious time on the three dead fish in a barrel.
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