| A ,
anonymous
writes: Hi there. I have this girl who I have developed a liking to over some time, and I wish to know whether to tell her about my feelings and how. I am 19 and she is 26. We met about 2 years ago through work, and enjoyed our conversations. I didn't really think much of it then because I was in the middle of fancying someone else. Reason was I was probably obsessing over this other girl so much that I never considered taking more notice of my work colleague, but bottom line was I still saw her as a friend. Eventually my first interest turned me down, and got together with a friend of mine. I was upset for a while but in the end I got over it. I believe this incident has also given me a fear of being turned down again, which leads into my problem at the moment. It was only just before my work colleague left her job, that I realised I quite liked her. It wasn't immediately after getting over my first interest, it more kind of grew on me. When she left, I was subconsciously kicking myself for not asking her out or anything. I went through two terms of university away from my hometown, while staying at my job for each holiday. It was after the second term of my first year that I went to a little staff get together in a pub, and there she was! I usually have hardly any confidence with girls, but it seems I can talk with her for ages. Eventually the opportunity arose for me to take her number, which I jumped at. After then from time to time while I'm away, I choose to contact her through text. We have a small conversation through that, then I occasionally go back to my hometown to visit her for a drink. This has been happening for near to a year, each time getting to know her better. It has got to the point where I need to know whether or not I tell her that I love her. I really am not sure what to expect from this, add on my fear of rejection its a pretty bad mix. I understand that if she didn't like me she wouldn't have agreed to meet up with me every now and then. I haven't made any "proper" moves on her of a sexual nature yet, so Ii'm thinking that going from one extreme to the next would be a big shock. I've chosen to send her a friendly valentines message though, as I believe that can be taken either way. I also plan to meet up with her again soon. So here's the question, do I tell her, and if yes how?
View related questions:
confidence, text, university Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A reader, Kevin, writes (9 March 2005): You do not want to tell her that you love her,that would not be a good thing, I would tell her that you really like her and would like to know if anything would develop. Don't be afraid of rejection, being rejected now is much better than waiting in the shadows for years as her friend,seeing her, or hearing of her going out with others, you don't want to go through pain everytime she does. The longer you wait to tell her that you are interested, the harder it will be for her not to say that she doesn't want to lose yo as a friend!!! Tell her you have an interest but not that you love her, Don't give her an open invitation to walk all over you.
|
