A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: hello , im 18 years and 6 months from now im going to get married I don't know anything about sex I never had sex and I know how to have sex but I don't what man and wife doing in bed before having sex do they talk or laugh or i dont im still a virgin as you allready know and its also not broken yet so i know it would be bleeding the first time but Can I have some advice of how I have to start when im with him in bed? sorry for my bad english
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (27 December 2011):
Congrats on the upcoming marriage.. how exciting. IF your future husband is not a virgin then he will help…if you are both virgins.. then the learning together could be great fun
It will NOT be perfect at first.. far from it. Yes couples laugh in bed.. and have “pillow talk” which can be anything from how your day went to words of love…
We often watch tv or movies and eat ice cream together in bed…
Note that your first few times MIGHT hurt.. that’s NORMAL… and I would not try to have sex more than once a day or even every other day till you get used to it…
IN the Orthodox Jewish religion the first time a new bride has sex she has to WAIT SEVEN DAYS to have sex again…. To let her body heal from the new experience…. So don’t rush it or feel bad if you are uncomfortable after the first time.
FOREPLAY (the sexual stuff done before intercourse) is critical… hugs, massage, kisses, perhaps some oral sex both giving and getting… at first explore with each other and just PLAY… and have FUN… and RELAX… yes elbows will hit faces, knees will go into groins… a penis will fall out of a vagina… all NORMAL… and if he gets soft it’s NOT YOU… and it may not be HIM either… nerves can do that.
Best advice… RELAX and have fun and don't expect to be good at it for at least a few months...
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2011): First of all, congratulations on your upcoming wedding! I hope it'll be a wonderful day for both of you :) Do try not to put yourself under pressure about what will happen in the evening though. Having sex for the first time can be a rather nerve-racking prospect, but it doesn't seem so bad somehow when you actually get there, trust me.
No two girls have the same experience. Losing your virginity can hurt a lot, or not at all; some girls bleed, others don't. If you're looking for some general pointers, I think this page does very well at answering the main questions people ask about having sex: http://www.avert.org/how-to-have-sex.htm
Above all, just remember to relax, take it slow, and let things happen naturally. Don't worry about talking or laughing or anything - if it comes, let it, if it doesn't, don't try to force it. Concentrate on your new husband, the man you love and trust! Making love does get better the more you do it, so don't let worries about the first time put you off. You'll be fine. Good luck and take care x
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