A
female
age
30-35,
*hi122334
writes:I am 17 going on 18 in December. My boyfriend is 15. I live in Michigan and he lives in Wisconsin. When I turn 18, am I considered a pedophile?We love each other very much and would like to keep dating, but he's a little worried I might get in trouble for being with him when I turn 18. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (25 August 2009):
 Good answer on the legal aspects. One thing I do know is when you are 18 there are new rules. Don't ever drive him across a state line. You should get some local legal advice as you have between 2 and 3 years to deal with this.
As to are you a pedophile, the word means child lover, but it also has certain legal definitions that vary from state to state. What you need to know is are you breaking a law. This is very tricky for people like my daughter who will turn 18 in the middle of her senior year in High School. (we also live near a state line) Kind of cuts her dating opportunities.
A three year age gap is nothing at 30, but at 18 it's all the difference in the world. It would be a good idea for you to be on friendly terms with his parents. Looking down the road a few years how will you feel as you graduate college and start working and he is still in college with all those fresh young ladies? Just another thing to think about.
FA
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2009): There used to be some very archaic laws regarding pedophilia in many states. Most have been thrown out in courts, but a common thread seems to be if you were dating before one of you reaches 18, and the other person is at least 16, then no law is broken. This actually makes sense and came about when two 17 year olds were dating in New Jersey. They guy turned 18, the girl still 17, and when they broke up the girls parents tried to prosecute the boy. This was thrown out as it should be, since they dated before he turned 18. You might have a problem if your bf will still be 15 when you turn 18. But once he turns 16, you're fine with the law.
As someone else said, who is going to turn you in? If you break up and his parents decide to be assholes and try and get you, they might have a legal basis, but I don't think any prosecutor would ever pursue it since you are already dating him. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2009): Flip needs to get a map. Michigan and Wisconsin abut each other to the north.Anyway...Technically you would not be a pedophile, because your relationship began before you reached the age of adulthood.But...Each state establishes its own age of consent. For Michigan, the age of consent is 16. So yes you would be committing a crime to have sex with your boyfriend before he is 16.Wisconsin is a bit tougher. The age of consent is 18. An adult having sex with someone under 16 commits a Class C felony. Between 16 and 18 you would be committing a Class A misdemeanor.A lot depends on who would report your relationship. If a parent objects to your relationship then you have a problem. If you commit battery and your lover reports you to the authorities then you have a problem. Otherwise if it is a normal caring relationship you will not get in trouble.You need to be careful about your relationship... erotic photographs you may have, those kinds of things. If you possess a naked photograph of your 15 year old boyfriend, as an adult that would constitute child pornography in most states.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2009): It depends whether you have sex or not, and what the legal age is over there where you live x
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A
male
reader, Flip0709 +, writes (25 August 2009):
 woah. thats a far distance! how is that working for you? as long as you do not have sex with each other, i see there being no way in you getting in trouble. but do your parents approve??
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