A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I was casually dating a guy for a few months but then he started pulling back a little and giving confusing, mixed messages. He ended up disappearing for 2 weeks before I was going on a trip, not responding to any of my messages and he didn't even wish me a good trip. 3 weeks later he messages me while I'm still away and says he "just got my message now" and tells me to call him when I get back and that he'd like to see me. I told him "I'd like to see you too but I don't really believe that you only got my messages now" and he says "no I saw them, I just decided not to respond" I told him "it's not like that's not any better" he said if he wanted to end things with me he would "just tell me", and I brought up other miscommunications that had happened between us previously. Then I asked him why he didn't even bother saying "Have a good trip" to me and he said "I thought you were already gone or leaving soon". Since his response made no sense to me I just ignored that message. Then a few days later he says "well can I call you and talk about it?" I said sure. Then we arranged a time to talk and he never bothered calling. I didn't say anything else to him after that. Why did he even bother defending himself and bother setting up a time to call me if he wasn't interested?
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (11 October 2015):
 Eh he sounds like a flake - not a special SNOW flake but someone who is not dependable.
I'd delete his number or/and block it and move on.
He didn't want to admit that he IS a flake. He was just hoping you would be so "overjoyed" that he bothered messaging you 3 weeks later, like you were waiting with Bated breath for him to call.
I think he thinks overmuch of himself and is a flake to boot. Both not very attractive traits.
And I agree with Janniepeg - if you were still casual after a few months... he was never very serious about you in the first place.
Sorry.
A
female
reader, 02DuszJ  +, writes (11 October 2015):
 I would forget this... he makes up excuses, he flakes out on calling you, and like the last poster said, it shouldn't be this casual after three months... just admit, that maybe you mildly liked each other at first, there isn't a strong enough spark to maintain a relatonship- it wouldn't be this difficult to maintain a normal level of contact. Unfrotunately this isn't the guy you want... why blow hot and cold, not messaging you for weeks, then randomly popping up, wanting what exactly? To meet up...? It could be very likely he fancies you and is a jerk who thinks he could get some from you... He's not actively persuing you and seems pretty half- arsed... not a personal reflection on you, the spark just isn't there for him... and for jerks, they dont need to be particularly interested in a girl to try and get some from them...Give yourself a slap and get back out there! Take care! :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2015): He's obviously a huge coward and wasted your time. He should have just ended it, but wanted to know first that you were willing to hear him explain himself. Try your best to forget him, you deserve someone better.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (11 October 2015):
 It's better than admitting he has no patience waiting for you for 3 weeks. Do you know how bad it sounds if he told you he wasn't interested after hearing you were going on a trip? So he pretended it was an issue of miscommunication. There wasn't great interest to begin with if you were still in the casual stage at a few months.
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