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Which of the two guys should I choose?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 April 2014) 6 Answers - (Newest, 24 April 2014)
A female Canada age 26-29, *amie writes:

hello,

I'm stuck between two guys and I need an advice. "guy no1" is the "good looking", "im perfect" kind of guy and I dislike that but at the same time he doesn't act like that around me, in fact I pushed him away so many times and he still manages to try again, he says he'll do anything to see me or to be with me which i find strange since there are so many girls that would wish he noticed them. It does make me feel special but the fact that he's super confident doesn't comfort me. Now "guy no2" is the sweetest person, kinda insecure since he isn't the hottest guy but looks don't matter to me at all, he's a funny, down to earth and he appreciates me heaps. I know it sounds like i know what i want, but I don't. Specially that I'm hanging out with both and I feel really bad. The last thing i want to do is hurt any. I find myself attracted to both, I'm just a realistic person and I use my brain rather than my heart.

Thank you for your time.

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A female reader, samie Canada +, writes (24 April 2014):

samie is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you so much, you all helped heaps. Xxx

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A male reader, Xearo Trinidad and Tobago +, writes (24 April 2014):

I think guy 1 will eventually ditch you. Guy 2 sounds perfect, at least he'll be stable in the long run, and you wont suffer from insecurity. And I am sure he will do everything it takes to make you happy.

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A female reader, WhenCowsAttack United States +, writes (23 April 2014):

How about guy C: none of the above?

Don't commit to anyone you aren't 100% into.

It isn't about hurting them, it's about each person equally wanting to be with the other.

Neither of these guys is right for you.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2014):

The question I would be asking is this: "How do I feel when I am with him? Do I feel relaxed, happy, confident, do I laugh a lot, do I feel appreciated, seen and heard?" Have another date with A and another with B and see how you feel through the date.

Does A listen to me like B? Does A really pay attention when I'm talking about something which I am really passionate about? Does B do the same .. or not? Does B ogle other women in my presence? You get the idea...

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A male reader, CMMP United States +, writes (23 April 2014):

I don't see why you don't date both of them. Don't commit until you have a better idea of who's right for you.

That's what "dating" is all about.

The thing is, you don't want to risk waiting too long to commit as that can cause complications.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2014):

Guy b makes you feel confident, Guy A makes you feel somewhat inferior to him unintentionally. Go with guy that makes you feel confident in yourself, who doesn't make you feel like you have to compete for his attention with other girls.

Personally, I would pick guy A, but you would have to be confident and be prepared for heart break or getting hurt. Guy A types like the thrill of the chase. The fact that you are "not that into him" makes you more desirable to him. The thing to ask yourself is if he "captures" you, will his feelings suddenly change (i.e., will you become less desirable and like all the other girls that want him.) You should read up a little on why guys love the thrill of the chase.

Quote from article on the topic: "Do you find that guys in your life love the chase and then disappear or lose their passion? " I think this is the question you should be asking yourself.

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