A
male
age
41-50,
*onfusedman12
writes:hello,So here is my story. I met my girlfriend less than 6 months ago, and shortly after we met we really hit it off. We have so much in common, we are really honest with each other, and we showed each other a lot of consideration throughout the relationship.Here is my problem, I have slept with about 5 girls while in college, but she has slept with about 15 guys and has went down (and not slept with) another 15 guys. She has some crazy sorority stories in which she was willing to give a blowjob (but ultimately did not) as a "fair exchange" for winning some stupid greek contest. She also danced in tight see-through clothing for a fraternity to win another greek contest. Lastly she had a blowjob contest with her friend because she wanted to prove she could do it better. The guys she hooked up with in college were mostly one night stands, and she has had 2 serious boyfriends who she was faithful to for the duration of thier relationships. Accordingly, her past really concerns me, it makes me feel like she has used sex in the past to win contests and thought that sexual acts were proper currency when she wanted to win a contest.Second, she has always slept with guys in past on the first date, including her long term boyfriends. BUT, when I met her I had to wait 2 weeks before we slept with one another. She always saw sex as a transaction experence and didnt ever associate love with the sex, and she decided to make me wait for sex because she thought she really liked me. I do not have a problem with the transactional idea because all of my sexual partners in the past have been the same way, I was never loved and she is the first girlfriend I ever had. Also, 2 weeks before she met me she had a one night stand with someone, but when she met me she made me wait for 2 weeks, it bothered me and made me feel like something was wrong with me, almost like she was treating me differently than every other guy she met and wanted me to be the guy to show her a whole new world of love, that really scared me in the first 2 weeks of the relationship.Okay, so here's my problem, we have been dating for a few months and I think I really love her. I have told her I love her and she loves me with all her heart and soul, but in the end I am scared that I will resent her past. I didnt have much of a problem with her crazy stories at first because I really liked her, but as the months went by and our love grew stronger I am scared that I will resent her in the future. I can see myself marrying this girl but I am scared of marrying a person who was a big time slut until she met me. I dont want to be the guy who converted the girl into a slut. I do not have any doubts as to whether she will cheat on me, I know she will remain faithful, I am just scared about her past and how much her past differs from my own. Its as if she has had so much more sex than me, and I can't help but feel a little jealous and thinking I might cheat on her (because of course how could you be respectful and faithful to a girl who had sex with anyone who gave her the time of day, except for myself). So I am just not sure if I could ever respect this girl with her past in such a way that would allow me to accept her for who she is, and not to care about it in the future. What scares me the most is that I have never had a girlfriend before and I love this girl, I see her as my wife and the mother of my children, and I am not sure if I love her because I like the idea I have a girlfriend or because I really love her. Do I love her and can I look beyond her past so that we may have a future in which I have no animosity to her? So in the end, the real question I have is "can you made a ho a housewife"
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male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (13 May 2011):
 You can't change her past. I think you need to either accept it (and soon) or move on.
People do silly things in their college years. If we were all held accountable for actions in our youth, we'd all probably be in a heap load of trouble.
Yes, it does sound like your girlfriend had a colorful past, but it also sounds like you have had one too. In addition, you wanted to sleep with her right away as well. She at least has grown up enough to realize that patience is key.
Your relationship is still relatively young and I think you still have a lot to learn about her. Take things a day at a time and try to look at her present-day character, not her history. If you are still obsessing about her past and you are going to hold a resentment or fear about it, I think you owe it to yourself to bow out sooner, rather than later.
Good luck.
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