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female
,
anonymous
writes: Hello,I have a troubled relationship with my ex-boyfriend. I fell in love with him a year ago, but this coincided with him falling ill and having to move to another country to be with his family....have asked several questions about him.Anyway, I do believe he fell in love with me, and we kept in touch/saw each other every 2 months, when he visited UK.But we were up and down as he had cut me off a few times...!He got back in touch recently and told me he wanted to see me again.I still love him and agreed to meet him.But, he was the same - still up and down. He is now living with his parents (he is aged 29 and I 32)...and he feels that he has no other option but to stay there.But somehow, he won't let me go, and I still love him.This last time we met, he was a bit strange, and bought his cousin along with him - like he was trying to protect himself from getting to close to me.I didn't understand, and after a while, just walked away - hurt that he didn't come to see me alone. The whole situation was bizarre.During snippets of time that we were alone...what he tells me is that he has met a girl over there, but is confused over the 2 of us. He told me that he still thinks too of coming back to live with me, but then changes his mind! (Clearly I know he has a lot of family pressure to stay in his country). I think he loves me more, but doesn't know if he can cope with returning to UK, due to his illness, hence his dilemma.But I walked away from this situation, as I was upset......we didn't get the chance to talk properly (his cousin was there as a chaperone). What I believe is that he is bowing to family pressure (including that of his cousin) to date a girl of his own nationalilty (we are of differnt nationalities - I am British Asian.)Anyway, I feel I have lost a battle for him, as we are not even in the same country anymore, and he can't seem to cope with being alone with me....think he is scared of his feelings for me.I had the most powerful love feeling with him.What I wanted to ask, is that - I now want to write him a letter to tell him everything i wanted to say to him, but never took the chance. I just wanted to tell him that I would support him here in the UK, to deal with his illness (I know I can cope). And of course, that I love him...and am hurt about all the past times.Do you advise this? I have nothing left to lose, and i do really love him.Thanks all.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Dr. John  +, writes (13 February 2007):
 I apologize for the link if you can't get it to work.
I checked it after submitting it and it didn't work because it did not activate the entire link. Here it is again and perhaps this one will work. If you can you may need to copy the link and submit it into a new browser page. Doc.
http://www.bpfrommer.com/Set~It~Free.htm
A
male
reader, Dr. John +, writes (13 February 2007):
I am afraid you alone are the only one that can make the decision as to what to do here.
However, have you heard the saying; If you love something set it free?
This may be what you will have to do.
Check out the link I am providing. It may help you make the decision. Hope things work out. Doc.
http://www.bpfrommer.com/Set~It~Free.htm
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