No Self Control

, posted over a year ago

Im 39yrs old and a virgin, my problem is i masturbate alot, 3/4 times a day sometimes it can be more to the point im sore, anyway reason im posting here is i need advice, i have a major problem which is scaring me and upsetting friends or loosing friends because of it, when i get aroused i seem to want to tell ppl mostly women that im hard and need to masturbate or i am, and the way i do this is either msn or texts or through some sort of chatroom or through a game called world of warcraft, in this game u can whisper ppl, so when i get hard and need to masturbate i pm a female i know, or any female character in the game although the character might be male, and tell them im horny etc, now this is freakin me out, as i dont have an answer why i do this, but what scares me the most is what if the person i whisper is a child, i dont want to do this i want to STOP, and doing what i have ive already lost valued friends i loved and cared about as u can understand as its somethink ppl just dont want to know esp women, and its making me depressed, i dont want to be like this and why i am i dont know as ive only been like it the past 3months, and i just cant explain why. i do admit im addicted to masturbation, i have been to my GP and also seen a sex therapist and they have both said i have no self control and if i cant stop then my doctor can by giving me a pill, to stop me having sexual thoughts and make me limp, they take 3months to fully work and once i start taking them for the 3months, if i masturbate i may just go limp, or wont reach orgasm and after a while i just wont get an erection ever again which both doctor and sex therapist both agree i need to do this, even if it means i cant get sexualy turned on again basicaly limp for good, there given to sex offender to make them limp and stop them offending again, but as ive said both gp and therapist want me on them no matter what the cost is if i cant do it myself, so i dunno what to do yes i want to stop what im doing but i cant on my own and only way i guess is to take the 3month course but sort of dont want to cause cant masturbate or get an erection once i start, so here i am posting here wanting your advice prefferd from females, i hope i havnt offended anyone just seeking advice.....

Posted on 23 February 2007 @ 14:14 (London time) - permalink
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DearCupid, posted over a year ago

You would get more advice if you asked this on the main site http://www.dearcupid.org/ask

Good luck

Posted on 23 February 2007 @ 17:22 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

First of all, why would u prefer females to answer the question when it is clearly a male's problem. Considering this is a male's problem, wouldn't it be more accurate if a male or males answer your inquiry?

Second, you know your options, you can either follow through with the pill which is a 'quick' solution to your problem, or you can try an alternative. There are tons of alternatives. Some of them as you probably have guessed already, range from finding someone to have sex with from an adult friend finder sort of site, ad, or organization, or you can work on building your self-esteem through various hobbies, career-related exercises, or extra education.

In short, if you have no will-power to stop this, then I suggest the quick solution, otherwise, this problem of your's, seeking some answers pretty much lead to the same options you're facing right now. This is as much as a mental thing, as it is a physical thing.

Posted on 23 February 2007 @ 19:1 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

Hi martini. erm not really sure why i asked for girls/women to reply i guess main reason was ive done this to females only and wanted to get there point of view but to be honest im really desperate i dont mind who gives me advice, there is alot more to the post then i have said but dont really want to put it into details there are reasons why im a virgin which is low selfestem, and confidence, from when i was a child, i dont mind ppl pming me as i will be honest with anyone, i just dont know what to do anymore and the future scares me if im honest, ive posted here for advice and i hope i have not upset or offended anyone by doing this.

many thanks

Posted on 24 February 2007 @ 3:14 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

I doubt most right-minded folk here would be upset or offended by your post. You clearly have a problem and further that, it is a mental problem that stems from your childhood, and piling up with self-esteem issues. There are so many factors that root out to other areas - eg:

1) who are your friends, who can you relate to, how is your family, who you are the closest to, and what have you done that pushed everyone away, etc

2) who do you see yourself as a person, what have you done for yourself, what do you do for your career, what other problems have you recognized about yourself?

What you might want to consider is the environment that you put yourself in. May I suggest a change of familiar territory? Have you ever though of doing something other than computer gaming, online chat, and internet porn?

Sometimes, people just need to be exposed to something outside of their usual routine to get them on a different track, to a different 'routine'.

What do you think?

Posted on 26 February 2007 @ 18:12 (London time) - permalink
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