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Dear Cupid > Forums > Romance > Making a gamble

Making a gamble

LonelyButNotAlone, posted over a year ago

Just to preface, this isn't a question.

My girlfriend has been a little distant lately... she says it's that she's just stressed out and unhappy about her job. She wants to quit and go back to school, but cannot for financial reasons. But this distance has persisted for almost 2 months now. I can't help but worry that perhaps it might also be me.

We don't see each other much due to differing work schedules and our weekends haven't been as eventful as we'd like due to the fact that one of our favorite places we used to go to was closed down. Financial strain isn't helping either.

We've been together for a year and a half and I've never told her that I love her. The truth is, I was afraid to say it. I didn't wanna seem like I'm too quick to fall in love. Time has only made it harder to say. But I've felt it for a while now and this distance is killing me... I can't concentrate at work... I have no appetite... I don't even enjoy the little bit of free time I have.

I've bought her some flowers and a card which she'll see when she gets home late tonight/early this morning while I'm asleep.

The card has a poem by Renee Duvall that I think really conveys how I feel.

"With you by my side, everything in the world seems better.

Good things are twice as much fun

because when I share them with you, I get to see you smile...

Bad things are only half as bad

because I know I can count on you to help me through them.

With you to hold my hand,

I know that I have someone who sees life a lot like I do, someone who shares the same values, dreams the same dreams...

I know that I have someone who understands the parts of me that other people don't even know exist.

With you in my life,

I know that I have everything anyone could ever want-

someone who's understanding and supportive,

who's fun and interesting...

someone I love who also happens to be my best friend"

I also wrote a lengthy note to her in the card. I'm not at all sure how she'll react. I'm worried, but hopeful.

Posted on 22 August 2008 @ 2:56 (London time) - permalink
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LonelyButNotAlone, posted over a year ago

It's all over.

She doesn't love me.

She doesn't want to be with me anymore. I was away for the weekend and when I came back, all my stuff was moved into the spare bedroom and she told me "we have to talk."

"Looks like there's nothing to talk about, you've already made up your mind," I replied, indicating to the bedroom.

She told me "oh it's not you, it's me, etc." but all in all "I just don't love you, and I should by now, and that bothers me and is unfair to you."

So that's it. I don't get an explanation really. I've done nothing wrong. We've been happy together for a year and a half... and now it's... "I just don't love you."

I want to die. I don't know what I'm going to do now... we're still living together and it'll take some time to undo everything that's in both our names... to pay or sell off the things we purchased together.

I guess my gamble did what I thought it might... and that's put an end to any ideas that there might be some way of saving our relationship.

Back to square one... a little more hurt, a little poorer off than I was... how does anyone start over again?

Posted on 24 August 2008 @ 21:3 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

How do you start again... well it can be done, but it takes time....

I'm sorry, I know it hurts... Big Hugs babes, time will heal all... :(

Posted on 24 August 2008 @ 21:50 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

I think if you love her, you need to tell her now.

Posted on 26 August 2008 @ 6:18 (London time) - permalink
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LonelyButNotAlone, posted over a year ago

I did tell her I love her, but she doesn't love me in return. I guess she's already emotionally invested with some stranger she met on the internet two months ago.

She said she didn't feel like she could tell me personal things... but behind the barrier of anonymity, I guess she has no problem telling people personal things. All it takes is for some enterprising guy to pick up on that and everything goes to shit.

All I know now is that I gotta get away from her. If I don't, I'm going to go insane.

Posted on 27 August 2008 @ 20:21 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

Mate I'm so sorry, I'm going through exactly the same thing, except its been nearly 2 months.

Fortunately I'm still here.

Mine was slightly different. She never loved me. And shockingly like you I loved her for a year and a half.

Probably more obsession than love, but, I felt very strongly about her.

Time isn't a healer, its what you do with the time. I didn't think I was gonna see her again when I left her for the end of school. I technically haven't, but odd texts every few weeks.

The first two weeks are the worst. Then you start thinking more about the situation. Then it goes erractically up and down, but this was possibly due to me texting her - and although you were suddenly up lifted, you came crashing back down and it felt like you have to start right at the beginning (sp?!) again.

Again I know mine is slightly different, but its the same concept of getting over. Its gonna be horrible, but the quicker you get over it the less it drags on - and that really does suck - and the quicker you can start enjoying life again.

Its been nearly 2 months since I last saw her and things are beginning to clear. I suggest you stay away, like you said for a while. You could kinda contact her here and there but, going by what your saying, a quick amicable friendship right away is gonna cause you problems...

I'm gonna have a think about what the best thing for you is...coz what I did certainly wasn't...

Posted on 27 August 2008 @ 21:2 (London time) - permalink
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