 BigSis, posted
over a year ago
Who would like to hear a Nursery rhyme, you know, the censored type we never heard as kids.
Mary had a little pig,
She kept it fat and plastered;
And when the price of pork went up,
She shot the little bastard.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mary had a little lamb.
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
Between two hunks of bread.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jack and Jill went up the hill
To have a little fun.
Stupid Jill forgot the pill
And now they have a son.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Simple Simon met a pie man going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the pie man,
'What have you got there?'
Said the pie man unto Simon,
'Pies, you dumb ass'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Ok, so that one didn't rhyme.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings' horses,
And all the kings' men.
Had scrambled eggs,
For breakfast again.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hey diddle, diddle, the cat took a piddle,
All over the bedside clock.
The little dog laughed to see such fun.
Then died of electric shock.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Georgie Porgy pudding and pie,
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
And when the boys came out to play,
He kissed them too 'cause he was gay.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a little girl who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead.
When she was good, she was very, very good.
But when she was bad........
She got a fur coat, jewels, a waterfront apartment, and a sports car.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
: ^ )
Posted on 22 June 2008 @ 22:43 (London time) - permalink
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