New here? Register in under one minute Already a member? Login

245057 questions, 1084625 answers

Dear Cupid > Forums > Cupid's Lounge > Ooooh I know something fun!

Ooooh I know something fun!

, posted over a year ago

Let's have a messed up story contest! Because one of the questions said "bet you haven't heard a story more messed up than this one" and I read it prepared to pull my hair out and scream and have nightmares and i was RATHER disappointed... And now I want some messed up stories.. please. They don't have to be like, sad or whatever.. you know just messed up. For instance..

I was talking to a friend of mine and he's black if that matters.. lol and he had his hand up his shirt for quite a while and he said his chest hurt so i was like "ok whatever" and kept talking and then i looked at the ground in front of him and realized what he was doing.. he was holding his shirt up and letting his pants down low enough so that there was a gap there so that i could see his penis! His penis was hanging out of his pants and underwears.. just chillin there.. I told my hubs and turned out he knew the guy and said he'd tell him stories of how he would do that to girls and they would see it and then want to have sex with him later that night. Well.. i consider that messed up.. Anyone else?

Posted on 24 July 2009 @ 0:8 (London time) - permalink
(Log in to flag spam/offensive/junk messages to moderators)

REPLY TO MESSAGE or Start a new topic

, posted over a year ago

HAHAHAHA WTF! Wow! I can't top that right now. I gotta think long and hard. No pun intended coz I didn't pull down my pants yet.

Posted on 24 July 2009 @ 0:20 (London time) - permalink
(Log in to flag spam/offensive/junk messages to moderators)

REPLY TO MESSAGE or Start a new topic

, posted over a year ago

ick! Lol.. to your pun. Of course, anytime a person says "no pun intended" then it was in the lightest tense at least, intended wasn't it? Or it would not have been mentioned.. haha. well, you don't have to top it i suppose.. but just give us somethign interesting to read!

Posted on 24 July 2009 @ 1:33 (London time) - permalink
(Log in to flag spam/offensive/junk messages to moderators)

REPLY TO MESSAGE or Start a new topic

Tisha-1, posted over a year ago

That story is scary and funny all at the same time, SY! Very messed up indeed. We could have some fun coming up with the letter that guy would write to DC if he knew about this place:

Dear Cupid,

I don't understand why I can't get a girlfriend. I'm hot, well-hung, but no girl takes me seriously. What should I do?

Posted on 24 July 2009 @ 1:52 (London time) - permalink
(Log in to flag spam/offensive/junk messages to moderators)

REPLY TO MESSAGE or Start a new topic

, posted over a year ago

Indeed!

Dear Cupid,

I use my manhood to charm the ladies and we have very hot sex, but why is it that no girl wants a relationship with me? isn't the penis all that really matters? I mean, women don't actually have feelings, right?

Posted on 24 July 2009 @ 2:6 (London time) - permalink
(Log in to flag spam/offensive/junk messages to moderators)

REPLY TO MESSAGE or Start a new topic

, posted over a year ago

Dear Cupid, why is it when I show girls my penis, they run? I'm big and good looking so I don't know what the problem is! HELP!

Posted on 24 July 2009 @ 10:22 (London time) - permalink
(Log in to flag spam/offensive/junk messages to moderators)

REPLY TO MESSAGE or Start a new topic

, posted over a year ago

Dear Cupid, Could my boyfriend be gay? I'll dress in a micro-skirt and see-through blouse with skimpy undies, do an erotic dance on the table for him and get my boobs out for him but all he does is hide under the table!

I really can't understand him - every other guy in the pub is cheering me on! Is there something strange about him?

Posted on 24 July 2009 @ 11:19 (London time) - permalink
(Log in to flag spam/offensive/junk messages to moderators)

REPLY TO MESSAGE or Start a new topic

, posted over a year ago

Lol.. don't see how that's related to the penis guy but funny nonetheless..

I want lots of people involved here.. commone i need lots and lots of mental stimulation.. !

Posted on 24 July 2009 @ 18:46 (London time) - permalink
(Log in to flag spam/offensive/junk messages to moderators)

REPLY TO MESSAGE or Start a new topic

, posted over a year ago

Dear Cupid,

I think my penis might be gay. I liek to show loads of women it and have hot raunchy sex but yet it has the opposite effect. Could my penis be giving me a sign. xx

Posted on 28 July 2009 @ 13:48 (London time) - permalink
(Log in to flag spam/offensive/junk messages to moderators)

REPLY TO MESSAGE or Start a new topic

eyeswideopen, posted over a year ago

Dear Cupid,

I think my penis is cheating on me. I found all sorts of porn sites it visited. What does it need porn when it's got me?

Posted on 28 July 2009 @ 14:54 (London time) - permalink
(Log in to flag spam/offensive/junk messages to moderators)

REPLY TO MESSAGE or Start a new topic

, posted over a year ago

Oh I am so glad to have you two join us. Plus, i was beginning to miss this subject.

Posted on 28 July 2009 @ 16:21 (London time) - permalink
(Log in to flag spam/offensive/junk messages to moderators)

REPLY TO MESSAGE or Start a new topic

, posted over a year ago

Dear Cupid,

Could my penis have an inbuilt compass? It seems to point north quite frequently.

Posted on 28 July 2009 @ 17:0 (London time) - permalink
(Log in to flag spam/offensive/junk messages to moderators)

REPLY TO MESSAGE or Start a new topic

pepper27, posted over a year ago

Dear Cupid

Life just does not seem fair :):):):):)

There was a little old man who really took care of his body. He lifted weights and jogged six miles every day. One morning he looked into the mirror and was admiring his body when he noticed that he was suntanned over his entire body with the exception of his penis. He decided to do something about it. So he went to the beach, undressed completely, and buried himself in the sand except for his penis.

Just then two little old ladies were strolling along the beach, one walking with a cane. Upon seeing this "thing" sticking out of the sand, she began to move it about with her cane. She remarked to the other little old lady,"There ain't hardly no justice in this world." The other little old lady asked, "What do you mean by that?" "Well," the first lady said, "When I was 20, I was curious about it." When I was 30, I enjoyed it." When I was 40, I asked for it." When I was 50, I paid for it." When I was 60, I prayed for it." When I was 70, I forgot about it." And now that I'm 80, the damn things are growing wild, and I'm too old to squat !" :):):)

Hiiiiiiiiii! guys love n hugs n laughs moi xxxxxxxxxxxx

Posted on 1 August 2009 @ 11:19 (London time) - permalink
(Log in to flag spam/offensive/junk messages to moderators)

REPLY TO MESSAGE or Start a new topic

, posted over a year ago

Good one Mandypeps! Just read it out to Lynne and now she's looking for the Tena Lady thingies!

Posted on 1 August 2009 @ 12:37 (London time) - permalink
(Log in to flag spam/offensive/junk messages to moderators)

REPLY TO MESSAGE or Start a new topic

, posted over a year ago

the compass and the penis sprout, I love both those guys!

Posted on 1 August 2009 @ 15:24 (London time) - permalink
(Log in to flag spam/offensive/junk messages to moderators)

REPLY TO MESSAGE or Start a new topic

, posted over a year ago

Pepper, I just read this to my wife and she was wondering if they are growing them on this side of the pond too. She's out in the back yard right now searching.

Posted on 1 August 2009 @ 18:50 (London time) - permalink
(Log in to flag spam/offensive/junk messages to moderators)

REPLY TO MESSAGE or Start a new topic

pepper27, posted over a year ago

lol!!!!!!!!Yep Im sure they do huuny tell her just keep looking...love uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu xxxxxxxxx :):):):):):):):)

Posted on 2 August 2009 @ 15:58 (London time) - permalink
(Log in to flag spam/offensive/junk messages to moderators)

REPLY TO MESSAGE or Start a new topic

pepper27, posted over a year ago

Dear penis

I don't think I like you anymore

You used to watch me shave

Now all you do is stare at the floor

Ohh, Dear penis

I dont like you anymore

It used to be you and me

A papertowel and a dirty magazine

That's all we needed to be getting by

Now it seems things have changed

And I think that you're the one to blame

Dear penis

I don't think I like you anymore

(penis sings)

Dear Rodney

I don't think I like you anymore

'Cause when you get to drinking

You put me places I've never been before

Dear Rodney

I don't like you anymore

Why can't we just get a grip

on our man to hand relationship

Come to terms truly how we feel

If we put our heads together

We just stay home forever

Dear penis I think I like you after all!!!!!!!:):):):)

Posted on 2 August 2009 @ 16:18 (London time) - permalink
(Log in to flag spam/offensive/junk messages to moderators)

REPLY TO MESSAGE or Start a new topic

Tisha-1, posted over a year ago

Peps, that's a good one. Soo goood to see your smiling face again!!! Hope you're well and feisty and fantastic. xxxx

Posted on 2 August 2009 @ 17:49 (London time) - permalink
(Log in to flag spam/offensive/junk messages to moderators)

REPLY TO MESSAGE or Start a new topic

pepper27, posted over a year ago

super doopy bubbly wubbly ya mean, Its good to see so many friends having fun and talking about the one thing we no alot about LOL!!!!penis's oooh and dont forget butt plugs hun oh and getting pregnant if ya swallow, Now that one I'll never forget lol!!!!!!love u all xxxxxxxxxxxxHUGSxxxxxxxxxx

Posted on 3 August 2009 @ 14:40 (London time) - permalink
(Log in to flag spam/offensive/junk messages to moderators)

REPLY TO MESSAGE or Start a new topic

, posted over a year ago

I miss all of those serious questions and discussions on the board. Lets have more questions about butt plugs, oral and anal pregnancies and whether it is really possible to grow a penis in the back yard. Common, where are all those serious questions?

Posted on 3 August 2009 @ 15:57 (London time) - permalink
(Log in to flag spam/offensive/junk messages to moderators)

REPLY TO MESSAGE or Start a new topic

pepper27, posted over a year ago

P.M.S.L!!!!!!Mate COFFEE WARNING!!!!!

Pleeeeeease!!!!!!I very nearly choked on me tea :):):):) Tisha's the one with the d,c manual stuck firmly in her head...lol!!!!It was a giggle eh!!!!Oh memorys :) Thats made my day..Im off to water me penis :)

Posted on 4 August 2009 @ 10:17 (London time) - permalink
(Log in to flag spam/offensive/junk messages to moderators)

REPLY TO MESSAGE or Start a new topic

, posted over a year ago

You better be careful. You never know how big it will grow. It's like the sex is like snow thing. You never know how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.

Posted on 4 August 2009 @ 12:28 (London time) - permalink
(Log in to flag spam/offensive/junk messages to moderators)

REPLY TO MESSAGE or Start a new topic

pepper27, posted over a year ago

oooooooh Im going to feed it as well! I could enter it in the show....Worlds biggest penis! That would be my ex pmsl!!!!!!

Posted on 4 August 2009 @ 12:43 (London time) - permalink
(Log in to flag spam/offensive/junk messages to moderators)

REPLY TO MESSAGE or Start a new topic

pepper27, posted over a year ago

ur up pa pa early! Im at me mans and Im tryin to figure out were everything is on this computer! Ive been sat here sinse 8.30 fiddling ( no puns there please)

Posted on 4 August 2009 @ 12:47 (London time) - permalink
(Log in to flag spam/offensive/junk messages to moderators)

REPLY TO MESSAGE or Start a new topic

, posted over a year ago

Actually, it's kind of late for me. It's after 8 now. So you fiddle with the computer and out in the yard?

Posted on 4 August 2009 @ 13:10 (London time) - permalink
(Log in to flag spam/offensive/junk messages to moderators)

REPLY TO MESSAGE or Start a new topic

pepper27, posted over a year ago

How did u no I was in the garden :)

Posted on 4 August 2009 @ 14:1 (London time) - permalink
(Log in to flag spam/offensive/junk messages to moderators)

REPLY TO MESSAGE or Start a new topic

, posted over a year ago

By the happiness in your voice. I knew it had to be something besides the computer that was making you happy. We all know what it was now. LOL

You take care of him and he'll take care of you. You feed him and..... Oh, never mind.

Posted on 4 August 2009 @ 15:58 (London time) - permalink
(Log in to flag spam/offensive/junk messages to moderators)

REPLY TO MESSAGE or Start a new topic

pepper27, posted over a year ago

Im soooooooooooooo happy! :) My friend just sent me a birthday card!!!!!!!But it didnt have a penis on the front???????

Ive fed my penis now he is sitting quite comfy on the coutch lol!!!!!!!!THANKU U OLD FART LOVE ME XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Posted on 4 August 2009 @ 16:19 (London time) - permalink
(Log in to flag spam/offensive/junk messages to moderators)

REPLY TO MESSAGE or Start a new topic

, posted over a year ago

You are welcome dear friend. I hope it is a good one for you. Sorry, but you'll have to supply your own. We don't have any extras here. At least not that I know of. :)

Posted on 4 August 2009 @ 17:1 (London time) - permalink
(Log in to flag spam/offensive/junk messages to moderators)

REPLY TO MESSAGE or Start a new topic

pepper27, posted over a year ago

MAYB A COFFE WARNING!!!!!!TISHA

When the man first noticed that his penis was growing longer, he was delighted. But several weeks and several inches later, he became concerned and went to see a urologist. While his wife waited outside, the physicianexamined him and explained that, thought rare his condition could be corrected by minor surgery. The patient's wife anxiously rushed up to the doctor after the examination and was told of the diagnosis and the need for surgery." How long will he be on crutches?" she asked. "Crutches???" the doctor asked "Well, yes," the woman said "You are going to lengthen his legs, aren't you?"

:):):):):):)

Posted on 4 August 2009 @ 17:12 (London time) - permalink
(Log in to flag spam/offensive/junk messages to moderators)

REPLY TO MESSAGE or Start a new topic

, posted over a year ago

Yes, it would be a problem if the outer ones were shorter than the middle one. Ouch. Of course, all I can do is imagine.

Posted on 4 August 2009 @ 17:48 (London time) - permalink
(Log in to flag spam/offensive/junk messages to moderators)

REPLY TO MESSAGE or Start a new topic

Tisha-1, posted over a year ago

Pepper, Pepper, Pepper, dear Pepper. Thank you for the warning, I have managed to keep the new computer safe and dry this time, thank you. You zound fahbyuluss! xxx

Posted on 4 August 2009 @ 20:16 (London time) - permalink
(Log in to flag spam/offensive/junk messages to moderators)

REPLY TO MESSAGE or Start a new topic

pepper27, posted over a year ago

Im fabbyuluss! (I love the word) "pepper make note to add to her dic"!!!! :)

TENNA LADY COFFEE WARNING!

Dear Management,

I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

1- I do physical labor

2- I work at great depths

3- I plunge head first into everything I do

4- I do not get weekends or public holidays off

5- I work in a damp environment

6- I don't get paid overtime

7- I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation

8- I work in high temperatures

9- My work exposes me to contagious diseases

Dear Penis,

After assessing your request and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:

1- You can not work 8 hours straight

2- You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods

3- You do not always follow the orders of the management team

4- You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations

5- You do not take initiative -- you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working

6- You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift

7- You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective gear

8- You will retire well before you are 65

9- You are unable to work double shifts

10- You sometimes leave your designated work before you have completed the assigned task

11- And if that were not enough, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious looking bags

Sincerely,

The Management......:)

Posted on 5 August 2009 @ 9:15 (London time) - permalink
(Log in to flag spam/offensive/junk messages to moderators)

REPLY TO MESSAGE or Start a new topic

, posted over a year ago

LOL Hey pepper. Watch it with that Number 8 answer from management.

Posted on 5 August 2009 @ 12:13 (London time) - permalink
(Log in to flag spam/offensive/junk messages to moderators)

REPLY TO MESSAGE or Start a new topic

, posted over a year ago

By the way, I love your new avatar pepper.

Posted on 5 August 2009 @ 14:52 (London time) - permalink
(Log in to flag spam/offensive/junk messages to moderators)

REPLY TO MESSAGE or Start a new topic

pepper27, posted over a year ago

I love you n I love me avatar to.....

funny eh!!!!!!!Em yea mate when I read that you did actually spring to mind...But I dont think there is any need for worry :):):):):):):) xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Posted on 6 August 2009 @ 19:57 (London time) - permalink
(Log in to flag spam/offensive/junk messages to moderators)

REPLY TO MESSAGE or Start a new topic

Add a new message to this topic