| kent, posted
over a year ago
dear all
I live in a small town on the south coast with my partner of 6 years (we are a male gay couple in our late 30s). We have been through a lot together (bereavement, car accident, redundancy) and have managed to keep a sense of humour and good sex life (this kept us going when things were grim!).
Recently and due to an operation I have been feeling a bit under the weather and have needed more reassurance than would normally be the case. My partner and I speak English and Italian (he speaks English to a reasonable level but and my Italian is quite basic - result: some mad miscommunication). He is lovely but hot-headed and though he never says anything nasty he always lets his emotion out. Whereas I have a slow fuse which when ignited makes me vitriolic and capable of saying anything.
Recently my partner has opened an email account for himself (before that we just left our accounts on the desktop open) and has started a correspondence with a man he met on holiday.
I am not sure that anything has happened and if you had to ask me I would say that it has not. However, I don't like the secrecy and the fact that I have been discussed and given a nickname (Along the lines of "The Boss"). I wonder if I am being niaive as this man - who otherwise sounds perfectly pleasant - has send him (my partner) pictures of himself in the nude. I can't really say this is evidence of anything though as I have a very good friend who has sent me pictures of himself nude for "approval" before putting them on a website.
probably there is nothing to it but I am losing sleep over this......My partner swears he is telling the truth but I can't let it go (yet) andto make matters worse there have been several small lies and non-admissions....
I am at a loss what to do. If it helps to understand the reason I am so shaken is that something like this happened to me before with a partner of 9 years....who then blamed me for his infidelity (having made sure that I sold my house to move in with him first......).
I feel that people very rarely intend to hurt but I can't get it through to my partner that if he wants to keep me I need more reassurance.
Anyway, any thoughts..would be appreciated.
Posted on 11 May 2006 @ 12:7 (London time) - permalink
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Aunt Audrey, posted
over a year ago