Living together, and lack of, er, "intimacy"

lostlad, posted over a year ago

Hi guys,

I've been seeing my girlfriend for over a year now, and she moved in with me last month (serious, I know!) - but our sex life has really gone from bad to worse recently, only making love once a month at the most. It just seems that she doesn't want to be intimate at all - we barely kiss and only cuddle when she wants to...

Is this normal? I don't want to seem pushy and talk to her about it, but it hits the old self esteem pretty hard!

Posted on 30 May 2007 @ 15:22 (London time) - permalink
(Log in to flag spam/offensive/junk messages to moderators)

REPLY TO MESSAGE or Start a new topic

miss_nell, posted over a year ago

Hello,

I'm in a similar situation but the girlfriend who doesn't want to be as intimate as we were...if it will help, this is how I feel about the situation and whats going on from this side of it all:

My bf moved in with me 3 weeks ago, at first I loved it - whatever we want, whenever. Now, because we were too busy having fun, lots of little jobs have started to pile up: the washing, cleaning, bills etc. The spirit of spontaneity was fun but all the other stuff has to slot in too. This is where all my efforts now are - sorting out other stuff so when we are being intimate, I can focus solely on that!

I'm not sure if that helps, I do hope you both find happiness again

Posted on 8 July 2007 @ 12:22 (London time) - permalink
(Log in to flag spam/offensive/junk messages to moderators)

REPLY TO MESSAGE or Start a new topic

DJ8433, posted over a year ago

Here's my suggestion. Be a man! I would almost bet you are to the point of almost begging for sex. Big turnoff by the way for women. Women look to men to take charge, be in control. I'm not talking about being a macho man, I'm talking about being a confident man. Now ask yourself what you want. More sex, right, and probably a woman that will show you and give you respect. You may have to make some hard decisions, but that's what real men do. Talk to her first. Why no sex? Get back to me. richard@whatdoesshewant.co.uk

Posted on 14 July 2007 @ 5:29 (London time) - permalink
(Log in to flag spam/offensive/junk messages to moderators)

REPLY TO MESSAGE or Start a new topic

lostlad, posted over a year ago

Thanks miss_nell, some other folk on here have mentioned the housework problem, but we usually tidy up on a regular basis, so I think the problem might lay elsewhere!

Richard – “that’s what real men do”. Well thanks for that enlightened comment. I’m not begging for anything, and we respect each other. I think a subtle approach might better to be honest.

Posted on 26 July 2007 @ 11:38 (London time) - permalink
(Log in to flag spam/offensive/junk messages to moderators)

REPLY TO MESSAGE or Start a new topic

lavish, posted over a year ago

I’m currently in the same situation, but it’s my husband of 5 years that I’m talking about. We both agreed that we’re like roommates. We barely do anything together anymore and he even told me that he’s falling out of love. I feel the same way too and have tried very hard to spice things up but he doesn’t seem to care. A loveless marriage…what do you do?? I feel so hopeless, alone and lonely….

Posted on 28 August 2008 @ 22:7 (London time) - permalink
(Log in to flag spam/offensive/junk messages to moderators)

REPLY TO MESSAGE or Start a new topic

Fedya, posted over a year ago

What's normal?

You cannot work out this issue on your own - it takes two to have a relationship and part of that is being able to work on problems that arise. Sex is a part of a relationship but there are also other things which are also important. You say that this is hitting your self esteem but does your self esteem really depend on whether your girl wants to have sex with you or not? Talking about sex with one's partner is often difficult, but an important aspect of being intimate. I hope things get better.

Posted on 9 November 2008 @ 2:18 (London time) - permalink
(Log in to flag spam/offensive/junk messages to moderators)

REPLY TO MESSAGE or Start a new topic

Honeypie, posted over a year ago

Communication is key. Oh, the time my husband I wasted not communication with each other, it was sheer stupidity.

A wise woman asked me, when I told her about the blah in my marriage, do you do for him what you want him to do for you? And I thought oh, shit maybe that is part of it. I sat him down and we talked ,screwed and talked some more. We have been married for 10 years, together for 12 and I have to say our marriage AND sex life have never been better. ( well, part from him being deployed atm lol put a slight damper on the sex life though we e-mail several times a day - some about day to day stuff and some of sexual nature)

I had honestly considered divorce. He had sensed it and had withdrawn further. It wasn't pretty and it sure wasn't good for either of us.

Friends who see us together, say how the hell can to old married people act like a couple of love crazed teenager? Because we now are in tune and we communicate.

Get the proverbial ball rolling and start talking.

Talking can do wonders for the libido ;)

Posted on 26 December 2008 @ 3:38 (London time) - permalink
(Log in to flag spam/offensive/junk messages to moderators)

REPLY TO MESSAGE or Start a new topic

Add a new message to this topic