| Theaviatar, posted
over a year ago
My wife and I have been married for 5 yrs. Since we got togheter it hasn't been easy. Not so much because of each other, but all this circumtances around us. Matters of money, no babbysitter,no time for each other etc. We love each other very much, but our relationship is destroyed. A few factors have contribte to that but I will summarize it this way:
1. She will not forgive my indeescretions
2. I'm having problems accepting a particular situation she was involved in.
We both had had many faults, we know we have damaged the relationship.
For a long time she have been having a difficult time regarding an affair I had when we were dating back in 2000. She decided to stay with me, but never really let it go. She have never trusted since then. Unfortunately I haven't help eighter because I have been indiscreet two times over the course of the 7 yrs. No physical contact with other females, but I had had conversations on the internet and phone. I even met with one lady, nothing romantic, but I knew it was wrong. These last two incidents happenned as a direct effect of a very foolish thing my wife and I tried. A sexual fantazy where she would be with me and another man. The night that it happenned I couldn't go through with it, but she did it anyways. She was drinking and even when I told her we shouldn't it was too late. That in itself was not the terrible part, but went we went back home she then proceeded to refuse to talk about it and our lives have been hell ever since. I feel horrible about that night,,I can see all these images of the person I love and somebody else. She then have taken the situation and turned it around. Because of my lack of commom sense and because I was hurt at the fact she wouldn't help me in understanding the events of the night of the threesome, I began to look at internet sites. I felt like I was no longer attractive, I wanted acceptance. I created a few profiles that went nowhere. Cheating on her have never been in my head. I love her and I do not want to loose her, therefore never really persued anything on line. She hacked my computer, found all these things out, and the roles switch,,Now im the one that have to wait here to see if she can forgive me or not,,meanwhile I'm still trying to get the images of her and another man out of my head. **Keep in mind that I have never been romantictly involved with anyone during our marriage**But she still says that alking to someone else is cheating,,,so I'm at a lost,,,I need advice,,I love her,,but I'm also hurt!
Posted on 8 May 2007 @ 14:36 (London time) - permalink
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DearCupid, posted
over a year ago