Marriage and Love

Tom909, posted over a year ago

I need some advice. Don't know if this is the best place to ask, but it’s a start. My wife and I have been married for 5yrs. now and have one child. Before we got married we had know each other for 3yrs. and were best friends. We were church goers and had a pure dating relationship, nothing beyond a kiss (yes really). I was more attracted to her Friendship and who she was then I was physically attracted and was always told it was better to base off your relationship with someone then physical attractiveness. For the past five years of my marriage I have been battling back and forth in my mind about how I should feel and if I am shallow. I know I Love her and our relationship but feel like I am missing being physically in love with her. I hear other husbands make comments about how their wife is the most beautiful women they know, but feel like if I said it about my wife it wouldn’t be the truth. I feel to truly love someone you have to love them 100% with all your heart. I don’t feel like I love my wife in that way, more of like a deep friendship love. It tears me apart because I feel like I am shallow for having the physical attraction be part of one of my needs. Comments anyone?

Posted on 16 January 2007 @ 15:0 (London time) - permalink
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sexylinz, posted over a year ago

you would get a better variety of answers if you posted this on the main site.

physical attraction is needed in all relationships. it doesn't need to be at the top of the list and with alot of poeple it not but it is fairly high up.

have you tried talkin to you wife about how you feel?

you may feel shallow but thats not the case. have you ever felt a physical attraction for anyone else?

i dont really know what i can say to you to help you as it is something you need to discuss with your wife. or atleast decide if it is a big enough problem for you to leave your wife.

Posted on 16 January 2007 @ 16:41 (London time) - permalink
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k1mmie, posted over a year ago

You do not state if you have a good physical relationship now. This brings a bonding and closeness like nothing else. If you love the person she is and you have a good physical relationship then you should feel contented and satisfied. Don't be fooled by hearing that it is all in the looks! Beauty is in the eye of the beholder!!!!!

Posted on 12 March 2008 @ 10:26 (London time) - permalink
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Fedya, posted over a year ago

Love is built on friendship, good frienship is very special.

Chemistry is important but not everything. Building a physical relationship with someone (partner, spouse) is not easy; it needs a sense of honesty, self revelation, commitment to the give and take of sex.

Never judge life on what people say; however, it is clear from your message that internally you are not satisfied, that you sense there could be more to a relationship. This does not mean you need to swap a partner, it does mean that there is something that you need to search for in your current relationship that is not there. If you look for it with love, if you look for it with passion and your wife resonds, then you will be a very lucky man. If not, then you could think of your options. Good luck on this long road of self discovery.

Posted on 9 November 2008 @ 2:28 (London time) - permalink
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