CONFUSED

collinss84, posted over a year ago

Hey, ive been with my girlfriend now since the beginning of January now. She has 2 weeks holiday coming up end of August and her friend asked her if she wanted to go on holiday with her cause none of her other mates will go with her cause they all have boyfriends like she does, yet my girlfriend said she would go and told me she wanted a week away with her mate abroad and a week with me somewhere..but i wanted a 2 week holiday with her and now cause i said i wanted a 2week break with her, i get the whole argument..to be honest im pretty sick of the way she's been acting, she never thinks before saying anything, she has a problem sometimes with the way she speaks to me and makes me feel like a piece of dirt. I have spoken to her about it, but anytime i speak to her on the subject, all i get is moaned at or an argument starts. I thought i had found someone to settle down with, who didn't wana go on 'Mate Holidays' anymore, are they not just for single people or have i gotten the wrong end of the stick, just don't think it felt right with her goin off abroad with her mate, why can't i just have a normal relationship where i can take a girl on holiday for the full 2weeks and enjoy the time. PLEASE HELP, would like to hear other peoples opinions on this.

Posted on 4 June 2006 @ 16:51 (London time) - permalink
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lillaum, posted over a year ago

I cant really see why you should get so up tight if your girlfriend wants to go away for a week with her friend. I think that in a mature relationship trust is important and so is finding a blance of time together and apart. I believe that its not just single people who do these things. Its good she is making the most of it, I mean if you two are really thinking about settling down with eachother neither of you will have so many opportunities if and when babies are in the picture.

Its only a week and think of what it will be like when she comes back after missing you for a week? wont it be nice to let her have a bit of girlie fun? you say she has trouble speaking to you nicly these days, maybe its a little to do with resentment? A relationship can only work if there is trust, respect and love. Letting her go away with your blessing will test it for sure, but when she comes back, she will respect that you trusted her and have caught up on girlie time you will feel happier and the relationship will be stronger.

Posted on 5 June 2006 @ 2:46 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

I think that if you're so sick of her treating you like crap from how she reacts and say things to you (hmmm, reminds me of someone I once knew), you should definitely reassess your relationship with her before continuing anything. I mean, honestly, it looks like your relationship with her is going downhill, even with the ups and downs along the way.

If you do decide to take a break (which is still a completely foreign concept to me) or break up with her, I suggest you tell her all your feelings on paper, and if she decides to read it, then great, if not, then you're not much at a lost here.

Go find yourself someone who respects you. It's obvious that her lack of respect for you is causing great irritance. I don't know if you deserve someone better or not, but I do know that this person you're dating doesn't seem to be your match.

Posted on 5 June 2006 @ 6:6 (London time) - permalink
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smeedle, posted over a year ago

Like you I struggle with anyone im with wanting to go on a holiday without me, when im on holiday I get excited with the new things im seeing and sampling and part of the joy of that is being with someone you love to share it with.

Maybe im just old fashioned!!

Martini`s words of wisdom are pretty accurate and to be honest she does seem to be on a different page to you so better to close the book than struggle on and be miserable as you just are not compatable.

Posted on 5 June 2006 @ 8:13 (London time) - permalink
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snowbird, posted over a year ago

Hi, I tend to agree with Lillaum above, I have many married and single friends who I go on holidays with and it can be a perfectly happy arrangement.

Trust is the byword here - are you jealous of what she may get up to on holiday? Are her friends the type who wear provocative clothes, get drunk and flirt on nights out, or are they likely to go somewhere like a mountain village like we do, beautiful scenery, good food and loads of girly chats about the meaning of life, etc; bonding? If it is the latter, then surely she will be discussing things such as how much she loves and misses you and feeling guilty about the way she treats you, etc. You know her better than I do, but it sounds as if whether she goes or not you could end up losing her, and giving her the freedom with your blessing will make her look more kindly upon you. Put it this way, if she has a better time away from you, she may well need to have a think away from the situation, decide whether or not it is time to part, but if you don't let her go she may feel suffocated and leave you anyway - which is probably why she is treating you this way. Don't forget she still wants to go away with you too! Good luck

Posted on 22 June 2006 @ 10:58 (London time) - permalink
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