Personal Space

I feel very low at the moment. My boyfriend and I argue a lot of the time and don't seem able to communicate. Even after the argument has died down I feel I never get a chance to reconcile our differences as I am accused of dragging an argument back up. He is like a closed book and talking about the things that matter is impossible as I rarely get any feedback on what he thinks. I try to talk about our problems but he doesn't say much and sometimes ignores me outright. Every time I mention something he takes it as a personal criticism of him. He is so defensive most of the time. He works long hours and we spend up to five days apart followed by three or four days together. He says he doesn't have any personal space as he is either working or with me. I have never stopped him having personal space. I am unemployed and long for the times we are together but now I am thinking he doesn't want to be with me as much since he brought up the issue of personal space. I feel very low and rejected at the moment. Do you think I am being over sensitive. I know he probably needs space whereas I have plenty of free time. What do you think.

Posted on 28 April 2006 @ 17:52 (London time) - permalink
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It must be hard for you to be the one left at home - and this is perhaps the root of the problem? From a male point of view (and I can only guess!) - he wants to come home and relax after work and enjoy your company, but perhaps you need more from him right now? if you're spending so much time alone, maybe without realising it you have an expectation that he's going to be able to stimulate you and focus on you and listen to you when he returns? The reality is sadly that he's probably tired from working away and wants an "easy life" where he can relax and enjoy your company without feeling that demands are being made from him.

Posted on 1 May 2006 @ 9:49 (London time) - permalink
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