He looks at pics of another girl

sapphire921, posted over a year ago

I am in a long term relationship with my boyfriend. We have been together for almost 1.5 years and have recently moved to Boston together. Anyway, when we first started dating he mentioned this girl that he use to flirt with and see at bars, nothing sexual happened between them. She also was a bit of a wild card, for example does coke... on a regular basis, parties often, and has no real goals for the future despite being in her 30s. Well, then my boyfriend met me, and I feel I'm a great catch, I am pretty, healthy, smart, have a good job. He is very lucky.

Here is the problem. I realize that he is always looking at pics of the girl mentioned above on flickr and on myspace. It really bothers me, this is a girl that he isn't friends with, has not talked to in almost 2 years, why is he still looking at pics of her or even thinking of her?

Well, a few months ago I mentioned that I'm uncomfortable with him doing this, and I told him I knew he looked at her pics all the time because I looked at his history (yes, that was a violation of privacy by me, but... I did it). During that fight all he did was yell and me call me psycho... for looking at his history and doubting his faithfulness to me. Well, he deleted her myspace and said she meant nothing...

Recently, I have seen him looking at her pics again! I know my boyfriend loves me, and I can't see him contacting this girl (she lives in Seattle) or cheating on me.

My boyfriend also was in the Seattle music scene and really yearning for people (musicians or the skanky girls they hang with) to accept him. Furthermore, I feel I am the bright light in his life. Since meeting me he got accepted to law school (hence the move), stopped binge drinking, and smoking pot, and just getting his life on track. However, isn't there something just odd about his situation, I mean is he desiring her or what? Please help do I have something to worry about or am I just paranoid?

Posted on 18 September 2008 @ 22:42 (London time) - permalink
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pepper27, posted over a year ago

sweetheart you have popped your question on the forum if you copy this and put it on the main question page you will get more replys. TAKE CARE WITH LOVE MANDY XXXX

Posted on 19 September 2008 @ 8:49 (London time) - permalink
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thair32, posted over a year ago

No trust your gut instincts about this guy. But more importantly, focus on You. Secondly, I don't think you're psycho. If he makes you feel bad by looking at other girls, you are also insecure. So don't take that the wrong way, I just want you to focus on your confidence. Buy a new outfit. Talk to your girlfriends and support team. They will help you. And if this guy really wants to be down with you, he will realize that he can't do the things that hurt you....Because trust me, it starts with a picture, then it moves on to other forms of cheating. You never want to get deep under water and it's too difficult to get out. Trust me because I'm a prime example of what you're going through. With me, yep it started with pics, other girls, then porn, then sex and cheating. Good luck hun. I hope you get over this issue.

Posted on 30 October 2008 @ 21:41 (London time) - permalink
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Mandy7777, posted over a year ago

I have a serious problem with the fact that you already told him once that this bothers you, and he did it again anyway....Where is the respect for your needs here???? when you care about someone, you take THEIR NEEDS into consideration....It sounds to me like you are doing a whole lot of good FOR HIM, but what has he done for you? I do not believe that you are in the business of "repairing" peoples lives at your own expense are you?

Posted on 7 November 2008 @ 0:48 (London time) - permalink
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