help me please

jennifer_jacobson28, posted over a year ago

lately my husband is a very inconsideate man. for valentines day i got nothing. and i went all out for him. gifts dont really mean anything but just the thought alone would have been nice. on march 29th its been 5 years we have been married. i am very sick right now with a cold and broncitis aint sleeping well at night. he doesnt spend anytime with his kids and he told me flat out that his job is more important then we will ever be and he feels that money is the answer to everything. including emotional. and right now with me being sick and have only gotten 8 hours of sleep in 2 days i was workin my butt off today cleaning and even made him sandwich and stuff when he asked. he sat on his butt knowing how sick i am, playing video games. then he decided to go take a nap we have a baby that needs full attention and i needed to rest i couldnt handle it no more. i was shaking and everything and he told me to go to hell hes going to bed. our sex life sucks and it seems the only time he has anything to do with me, is when he wants sex. he told me that he is working on our anniversery it dont matter what i feel. and refuses to be there for his daughters 2nd bday party as well choose work over us. we never see him. i dont have a license so when hes gone i am stuck at home. i dont have anyone to babysit for me when i need to take a break. and he wont watch them when hes home last time i left him alone with the baby her diaper was SOAKED and heavy. she was filthy and was screaming when i walked in. according to my kids * my older ones* daddy wouldnt feed them eithier. this is just some of the stuff he is doing. i cant take it no more. i need someone that knows prioities.what should i do? i love him with all my heart and dont wanna leave. but i will if i have to. i have done it and it didnt phase hime one bit. was gone for a week with the baby he didnt miss us at all and when we got home the house was a wreck. last night he watched my daughter for 2 hours i came home and she was screaming covered in poop. and again he was playin a game payin no attention. please help me figure out what i should do.

about a week ago, we got into a huge fight to the point he got up in my face and cocked his fist back and raised it at his side screaming at me. after we both calmed down and talked he agreed to marriage counseling, and anger managment classes. he dont understand why the anger managment classes and i told him gettin in my face like that and cocking your fist back like that is a threat so i want u to take them before u DO DO something dumb. he told me whatever. i told him flat out its the classes by yourself or jail time for the threats your choice! and the judge would most liely make him take anger classes anyway. well he agreed to everything but has made no efforts at all. today we got into it again i went to wake him for work kissin him and trying to be kinky and he told me he dont have the time for me. then i said fine whatever and walked out then he says fine if i have to to get u to shut up lets go. yea THAT PUTS SOMEONE IN THE MOOD!! anyway, as i walked by our bedroom to take a bath i found him having plenty of time to sitat his computer! gee that shows where i am on the priority list! i told him it was over i cant handle this no more he told me whatever you will come back because u cant get better intimacy then me. i looked at him and laughed! told him hey i am a beautiful woman and theres plenty of men out there that would treat me the way i deserve to be treated. and that i wasnt going to shed a tear over him because its not worth it no more. andhe says i wont find no better. now, i wanna leave but scince i have been with them they took all my income. i get it back once hes gone but it takes a bit to get back. i have 3 kids i need to put a roof over there head.so if i leave i cannot support them. what do i do?

Posted on 18 April 2006 @ 5:5 (London time) - permalink
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DearCupid, posted over a year ago

Best thing you can do is post this to the main site, www.dearcupid.org/ask or "Ask a question" link in red at the top of every page.

Good luck!

Posted on 18 April 2006 @ 11:41 (London time) - permalink
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Mariels, posted over a year ago

Hello,

I am so sorry you're being treated like this. That doesn't sound like a marriage. I haven't been married so I can't really say "Just leave". that's a decision you have to make. If he doesn't want to go to marriage counselling and he's not going to change, it doesn't seem right for you to be together. If you can't get a direct answer from him as to whether he wants to be with you and the kids or not, that doesn't help. He needs to let you know what he wants to do. Only then can you make a decision. If he's not prepared to say, then of course you are confused. However, if it's getting to the point where he's being violent towards you, then you should leave. Take your kids with you, then when he comes home and he's sat in an empty house, he will have no choice but to think about what he's doing and how much he is driving his family away. You deserve to be happy and so do your children. Your life sounds like a prison sentence at the moment. You sound like such a wonderful person, and I know how much it hurts when someone doesn't appreciate you despite all of your efforts. Don't let him drag you down. You sound like a strong person like me! He sounds like he doesn't deserve you. Keep your head up sweetheart xx

Posted on 21 April 2006 @ 12:57 (London time) - permalink
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