Don't have any clue ...

Rebel13, posted over a year ago

Okay i posted this on the main site and only got one answer so I figured I'd try here. Its a bit long so sorry ahead of time but i rather tell the whole story before things are assumed.

My ex-fiancee is manic depressive, was cutting, drowning in booze and drugs. I was reckless...racing cars and all, at the time we met. She and I met 4 years ago, online...we became friends and all first. We were both going through dark times. Then we started dating. We had hard times every now and then, but we were completely head over heels for each other. We literally went through hell and back. We've leaned on each other and became engaged. We were both happy and looking and planning a future together. I am also her first long lasting and meaningful relationship. And we do get to see each other using our chat cams and visiting twice each year. We were so In love for four years.

We're a long distnace relationship. She's Canadian, I'm American, she's 23, I'm 25...her life is sheltered really and mine never has been.

Well a month after i saw her this past summer, she said she was having a doubt in the pit of her stomach and that she felt confused. So we broke up for awhile, but we didn't stop talking to each other, we still told each other 'I love u' before logging off, still treated each other like lovers.

Just this past week, we were talking and she told me, that she knows she loves me, yet she's confused if she's In love with me. Saying she doesn't know if she loves me for real reasons...or because of our past and she clung to me cuz i saved her life. So, this month, we're talking less and no more 'i love u' in our parting messages, to see what will happen and then if nothing has change, then next month till dec 26th, we're going to stop talking all together. Only reason it is till the 26th is because she already bought an airline ticket to come visit me for New Years.

I gave her every piece of me, heart and soul. She's the first person i finally let in completely, trusted fully, and adored so damn much. I know she's not cheating becasue she has always been honest with me and she said she wanted to figure this out before she even thinks of dating again. And I have no reason not to believe her.

What I want to know is what happened. I know i can't get direct answers here but advice helps. Is she scared of the future? Did she get cold feet about us being engaged? Just she just want time to be single and maybe date others and hopefully come back to me?

I know it might sound sad, but I'm 110% certain of my feelings for her. And as cliche as it sounds, I really don't want her to leave me. What can I do?

Posted on 7 October 2007 @ 9:1 (London time) - permalink
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rcn, posted over a year ago

How is she doing on her drugs, and alcohol. I think she may be really confused. It seems to come with a manic depressive. They have the extreme high, then the low low. The reason I asked. People who have manic depressive disorder or bi-polar attempt to self medicate themselves with alcohol or drugs, even though they intensify the highs and the lows.

The best I can give you is ask questions. Is she worried? What about. Is she fearful that she'll make a choice, which being manic depressive might have a negative effect on.

You have to understand her. People with this disorder have a great difficulty keeping people around. At least those who aren't ready for then emotional ups and downs, so when you fail at something over and over and over again, you start to predict the outcome of trying again. It could be possible she's afraid of failing this relationship as well.

Posted on 14 October 2007 @ 9:15 (London time) - permalink
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Rebel13, posted over a year ago

With drugs and drinking...she stopped doing drugs completely and drinks only socially whic is a beer or two with friends or her parents. And even thats not very often.

I hve asked a few questions. She told me she doesn't want to live with regret if we don't work out. I've had convos with her and tried to grasp where she is. We've been together so long and have gone through so much i do understand her. I love her enough to not care and go through the ups and downs with her. I have since day one.

Posted on 14 October 2007 @ 12:15 (London time) - permalink
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