| hantsie, posted
over a year ago
I have been with my partner just over 3 and a half years. we've lived together for 3 years. Two years ago I discovered I could have a genetic defect that caused cancer of the bowel. Within 5 months I was told I had the defect, was being screened and having my small intestine out. I thought I could deal with it with no professional help. 4 months to recover for the op, then a holiday with him and his brother/sister in law.
Over the last 8/9 months I became more withdrawn, and horrible to live with, but was unable to see it and the reason for it. A month ago I finally started to come through the darkness. I hadn't fully realised the impact my behaviour had had on my partner. Then he mentioned 2 weeks ago how he had walked a woman to a taxi from his usual darts night out. This woke me up, i could lose him. Then we went to his mates wedding and I had been brooding on this woman and the fact I felt threatened. I started a row, Difference this time, He finished it.
We've talked since and I've asked him to consider giving it a try if I go off and give him space. He says no, but his behaviour doesnt back that up and i really dont think he sees that.
I went into the pub on his darts night and he was talking with this woman, he didnt look guilty. We went home and talked, he says he only sees her as a friend, and it is a relief to have someone to talk to with no pressure. I believe him. Now I know he has her number and i knew he would see her last night at his darts night. If I ask him he tells me what they talk about in relation to us. He hasn't told anyone we've split up completely, (apart from a mutual friend, but he knows I told her already), just that we are having a bad time, or splitting up. Does he really see this woman (claire) as a friend, a person to talk to as he is unable to talk with me about this situation, or am I being gullible?
Also he has continued to give me a few cuddles and kisses after we agreed to have no contact as we are now in separate rooms until I find somewhere new to live.
I have now started counselling for what I've been through in the past year and he says he sees the old me coming back through.
He also says he still loves me but his gut instinct is telling him he doesnt want the relationship anymore.
A mutual friend has seen him last night and he said it wasn't to bad at home and we weren't getting on to bad, then she said in the next breath saying its over! Her comment was it was like jekyll and hyde and she thinks he's lost the plot, something his sister in law believes as well.
Am I having unrealistic hope that he is just very confused, hurt and angry and needs time, or is it really to late?
If its not too late, what can I do?
Posted on 8 September 2007 @ 19:39 (London time) - permalink
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rcn, posted
over a year ago