getting over a break-up

jimmy2, posted over a year ago

Hi,

My girlfriend and I recently broke up due to some issues which were not leading the relationship anywhere. Last week I got a letter in the post from her telling me that she had decided to break things off with me and explaining her reasons.

Living 80 miles apart meant that we only saw each other at weekends. I sent one back explaining things from my point of view. She wants us to remain friends and although I'd like this, aside from a couple of texts following the letter saying she was sad things never worked out for us, I've heard nothing from her since. I really grew to love her and am finding it a tough time trying to kill my feelings for her, which over the last couple of days has lead to quite bad stomach cramps because I am so wound up inside. How would I be best off doing this?

Posted on 2 May 2006 @ 13:53 (London time) - permalink
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scottish girl, posted over a year ago

hi there again

Really sorry to hear about your split, can you tell me how long you were both going out for? Sounds to me like maybe she wants a break perhaps? The distance probably didnt help either, that could cause a strain. I think its nice she wants to remain friends, did you ever talk about the difficult times, issues, problems at all to try and bring you both closer together?

If you can try and relax, I know its hard as I am just as bad thinking the worst. Have you both split before?

Posted on 4 May 2006 @ 17:49 (London time) - permalink
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jimmy2, posted over a year ago

Hi there,

Yes, we had not been going out long, just 3-4 months or so (we had met via the internet and had been e-mailing/texting/chatting about 2 months before we finally met up). When about a month ago, I began to sense things were not right between us, I tried to confront her about this and encouraged her to speak out if there was anything about our relationship that was bothering her, but she just told me that I had nothing to worry about and that I was just being paranoid and that she would tell me if anything was wrong.

After every weekend that I went home, I felt more and more worked up, I just had the feeling that I was a dissapointment to her since we both had no money so neither of us could offer a proper commitment to each other, during love-making I found it extremely difficult and took a long time to reach climax (she was my first partner and at 34 things don't kick in that easily), which, it turned out, she started getting the feeling it was something to do with her, and also she complained more than once that I was too soft on her and should have been stronger and more dominant with her. Yet, in another breath she said that she was sick of people playing god with her life (she had very bad health) and became resentful when pushed.

The texts and calls got less and less every week we were apart, so I knew something was up, but she just made out everything was okay.

She started giving hints in the way of undermining comments that she was not getting enough from me but would not talk to me directly about this. Our love making became less and less and then last week she wrote telling me that she did not want to be with me any more for the above reasons. There is more to this but I can only go into this with subsequent posts. Thanks for replying, and no, we had not split before.

Posted on 4 May 2006 @ 23:4 (London time) - permalink
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