Sex/fetish addiction

Dr Saturn, posted over a year ago

Hi.

My problem is excessive masturbation.i seem to put more effort into it than any other area. I have a steady girlfriend and things are generally ok in that area, guess could be improved a bit but we dont always see a lot of eachother due to various reasons.

I often get home from work then spend a good hour or two 'jackin off' then feel lazy and dont wanna do anythin else for the rest of the evening.

The other thing is the fetish based content of my fantasies. I really find femdom stuff a turn on and so trawl for hours over similar sort of videos and imagery, things like spanking, face sitting, foot worship and the usual stuff like that. Also like the idea of bein dressed in girls clothes like a maid etc. I cant say i like anything that some would find particularly disgusting, just general stuff of female worship and slave scenarios. The thing is i think im endulging myself in it a bit too much, so its on my mind alot and it makes me feel like a pervert and ashamed of myself! i'm generally a pretty ordinary down to earth freindly guy with good social life etc altho i can see this problem affecting that further down the line.

I have played around with some of this stuff with my gf, bein spanked and licking her feet and we enjoyed it. Shes defo got a kinky side and she'd prolly go with it if i asked for more but again i feel quite guilty about it afterwards and a bit ashamed. Also we are both quite headstrong and dont like to be pushed around in real life so i worry about it leaking out of the bedroom.

So i dont really know what to do. Does anyone think fetishes can be 'cured' or diminished or whatever. Is it all better kept as fantasy or should i do what feels good at the time. And does anyone else have any experience dealing with the shame and guilt? Any thoughts or people who have similar experiences, would be most appreciated, esp female perspective? Me and my gf can talk about most things but i find it hard to go into detail with this and dont want her to lose respect for me cos of it!

Posted on 15 March 2009 @ 14:51 (London time) - permalink
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Butterflyx, posted over a year ago

Fetishes are definately something everyone indulges in once in a while. Personally I'm into degrading names during sex, however by no means do I think of myself as a pervert. If your girlfriend is cool with it and it's enjoyable then what the hell, go for it. Everyone gets pretty nasty in the bedroom so as long as you're down to earth outside there isn't a big problem- a lot of sexual activity shows a healthy lifestyle.

On a side night though, you should probably cool down the masturbation if it means you can't indulge in any sexual activity with your partner afterwards.

Posted on 22 May 2009 @ 23:17 (London time) - permalink
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The good wife, posted over a year ago

I would have a general discussion with your girlfriend first, About things that are no go's,

like adding another person or anything you deposit in a loo ect once you know what is way out of bounds if any of your fantasy's involve those things keep them in your head, come up with a safe word and let the games begin. I think most people are a lot more kinky than they would ever admit, if your a little on the shy side regarding details write her a little erotica, i do this for my hubby and you can get as detailed as you like.

Regarding the dominance thing most people who are strong willed in the outside world love to be controlled in the bedroom, we have to take turns ...lol

Posted on 21 April 2010 @ 15:21 (London time) - permalink
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