 celtic_tiger, posted
over a year ago
I am going to assume you are in love with a teacher?
The point is, that at 15, you are young, inexperienced and impressionable.
You are only just beginning to feel the hormones of attraction, sex, love etc, and it is natural to attach your affections to people who you think are mature and exciting.
Often teachers are younger, they are fun, cool, exciting, friendly and make their pupils feel at ease. To a teenager in the first flush of sexual awakening, this can be mis-read at attraction.
They think that they are the only ones who the teacher treats like that, and that they have a "special connection", that they are "in love" and that they will get together in a relationship. What you feel is a crush, it is an extreme hormonal reaction, but it is not real. Real love is something that you will understand when you get a bit older. A teacher is an unattainable figure, and you want it because you cant have it. That makes them more desirable.
The reasons why teachers are not allowed to have romantic relationships with pupils are numerous. Apart from the fact that until you are 18, you are legally a minor, thus while you are at school, teachers are essentially acting in loco parentis. They have the responsibility of a parent while you are in their care. This "duty of care" is a very serious issue, and most teachers will take it so. We are there to teach you, and to help you grow, intellectually, emotionally, and personally into young adults.
No teacher worth their salt would EVER have a relationship with a pupil. They would instantly lose their job, and probably never be allowed to teach again at the very least. If things went further, and sex became involved, this would also mean being put on the sex offenders register and probably jail as well. It would be classed as child abuse, beacause until you are 18, you are still technically a child. Even tho the legal age of consent for sex is 16, because of the duty of care, for a teacher it is still considered a punishable offense.
There is also the issue of abuse of this "duty of care". Sadly there are people who take advantage of young people and the crushes they have. How would you feel if you had a teacher who made you sleep with him in order to get a good grade? Would that be ok? What if you didnt fancy him? What would you do? If you allow romatic relationships, you also allow abuse of the system. Favouritism, giving the people you have a relationship with better grades, what about if you split up? Where do you draw the line age wise? 15, 14, 13..... or is any age fair game for a teacher to have a relationship with? This is paedophilia. This wouldnt be allowed in normal life, so why would a teacher be allowed to do it? So for you to be allowed to have one relationship that works, what about all the children who COULD be used, abused and damaged because of it? How many young lives would be ruined? The laws are put in place to protect the child. Its not there to spoil your fun, but to protect you at probably the most vulnerable time in your life.
Can you see why teacher/pupil relationships are not allowed?
On a more personal level, I am 26, and there is no way I would ever date a 15 year old. Ever. As Caring Guy says, you grow so much between the ages of 15 and 20, you have no conception of what life is all about yet. Would you date a 10 year old? No? Why? Because they are children? They dont like the same things you do? They dont have the same mind set as you do? Believe me, when you are at Uni, you will not look twice at a younger person. Once you get to mid-late twenties, teenagers become annoying. It is their attitude, their behaviour, their general outlook on life that grates, they have no concept of what being an adult is all about. Real life is no like a teenage movie. All the sillyness that is involved in a teenagers life, the attitude etc changes when you get to your 20's. You realise how silly you were as a teenager, and how little you knew about everything. You have no responsibilities, no worries about money, bills, rent, car, mortgage... and once you have those, it is very difficult to go back to the carefree "dont give a damn" attitude, where you parents will bail you out if you run out of phone credit. No matter how mature you think you are as a teenager, when you get older and look back, you will realise you were not.
During your teenage years you develop so much. The person you are now, you will not recognise in 5 years time, but at the moment, you cannot see this. It takes age and maturity to see and understand the growth of a child to an adult, but until you get to that point you will just have to accept and trust those who have been there before.
Posted on 21 January 2010 @ 23:0 (London time) - permalink
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eyeswideopen, posted
over a year ago