| , posted
over a year ago
Someone had asked me by mail, something regarding the rule of three.
I do not have my book on hand to look up the exact wording Martha Stout uses in her The Sociopath Next Door book.
I think that the rule of three lies should be used by everyone when finding a mate to build a life with.
Below are some referenced online sites.
MARTHA STOUT
(http://www.libraryjournal.com/article/CA485977.html#talkBack)
The first rule is that one must accept the fact that, unsavory as it is, some people simply have no conscience and that these people tend to be very "everyday."
Secondly, it is important to learn to use your own judgment about people instead of relying on roles and labels to inform you about a person's moral character.
Summary Of Sociopaths
1. They make you feel sorry for them.
2. They make you feel worried or afraid.
3. They give you the impression you owe them.
4. They make you feel used.
5. Sometimes you suspect they don't care about you.
6. They lie to you and deceive you.
7. They take a lot from you and give back very little.
8. They make you feel guilty (and use that to manipulate you).
9. They take advantage of your kindness.
10. They are easily bored and need constant stimulation.
11. They don't take responsibility but place blame elsewhere.
The third rule is to practice the Rule of Threes when considering a new relationship in your life. Three lies, and you should be concerned that you are hooking up with a liar.
The fourth rule is to question authority.
The fifth rule is to suspect flattery.
The sixth rule says that, if necessary, you should redefine your concept of respect.
The seventh rule is, simply, don't join the game.
And related to this, the eighth rule is to avoid the sociopath altogether.
Rule nine is to question your tendency to pity too easily.
Number ten: do not try to redeem the sociopath.
Also, number 11, never agree, out of pity or for any other reason, to help a sociopath conceal his or her true character from other people.
Rule number 12 is do not allow someone without a conscience to convince you that humanity is a failure.
And rule number 13 is an old saw, but true nonetheless: living well is the best revenge.
Dr. Stout lists THIRTEEN RULES FOR DEALING WITH SOCIOPATHS IN EVERYDAY LIFE:
1. Accept the fact that no-conscience often looks normal.
2. Do not believe role “taken on” by sociopath.
3. Use “rule of three lies” for confirming suspicion about dealing with a liar.
4. Social support will help you to question authority.
5. Suspect flattery.
6. Redefine your concept of respect: keep it separate from fear.
7. Do not join in the “game.”
8. Avoid contact, if possible.
9. Don’t pity the sociopath.
10. Don’t try to redeem the irredeemable.
11. Never agree to help sociopaths conceal their true character.
12. Remember that most human beings do possess a conscience, an ability to love.
( http://www.youmeworks.com/sociopaths.html )
Posted on 14 November 2007 @ 19:17 (London time) - permalink
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