Love of of My Life - we split up

Pain, posted over a year ago

My bf and I were together four years - alot of ups and dowms. He could be quite a crappy bf but not because he didn't love me but because he had committment issues. I brought all of this up with him last week and he went away and thought about it and he called me and we met up to 'talk'.

My bf is a stone he can be so emotionless but he actually cried told me he loved me so much but this was his issue - his committment issue and he had to deal deal with it himself - he kept kissing my forehead and hand and said he didnt want to d this but he couldnt continue to hurt me like this he said you cant shit on the person you love so much - he said I was his little baby and he hated making me sad - he said he realises what he has to do now he just doesnt know how to get there - he said he thinks so much of me that one day when he sorts all this stuff out he will come back to me and if im not with anyone he would like us to give it another shot - now all ym frends are saying i should now move on - but I love him more than life itself and I know he loves me so much I want to wait but how long will this take? What am I meant to do in this situation - should I just wait? Do you think he will ever come back to me???

I left him crying that day, he says this is not the end for us but he doesn't know how long it will take him to sort himself out?? What do I do???

I Had just qualified as a stockbroker the day before and he was proud of me when I told him - why does have to be like this if we love each other so much - why cant he get past his committment issues????

My friends are no help they keep telling me to move on - I don't want to please someone give me some advice? Please What do I do?????

Posted on 23 September 2007 @ 13:20 (London time) - permalink
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sonnetmoon, posted over a year ago

I do not claim to know the answers. The man in my life- is odd. I am quite a few years old than he is. I have my baggage, although I am not sure it really effects our relationship. And, he has his.

I am in a similar situation, but not quite like yours. He un-officially asked e to marry him. I was technically married, but we had been together, and living together for quite sometime. My ex had moved on- and so had I. We were finishing up the process. He did not officially ask because I was still married, but presented me with a ring.

At times he claims we are engaged. And, at other times- he is quite quick to say it is un-official if someone asks me about the ring on my finger. He appears to have even a hard time deciding if we are or not.He never technically asked me anything. There are very strainuous issues we face- mostly a lot of his baggage, and poor choices that he participated in.

My friends and my mom beg me to move on through all of the hurt I have felt. They claim to have a bad vibe from him. They know I adore him. BUt, yes, even I know he is not providing what I so want, which is him, and for him to be able to commit to me, and me alone.

I am not sure what I will do. My heart loves him with all my being. My head thinks more rationally and cannot work through some of the things he has done, or not.

I wish you the best. Perhaps we will do what is best for us ultimately. I would fight as hard as I can to try and figure it out with him.

If he left, and you two are broken. I would not personally think he would come back. It would be horribly unfair if he truly expected you to wait for him to figure it out. If he truly believes this- is he really the man you want to spend your life with. We all give and take in our relationship. But, to really ask someone to wait- while they leave to figure things out, in hopes one day they will come to an answer- speaks volumes.

Posted on 4 October 2007 @ 23:49 (London time) - permalink
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