once a cheat always a cheat?

Is it true that once someone cheats they will always be a cheat? my boyfriend was with his ex when he met me but was extremely unhappy with her and left her for me? is he likely to do the same if he gets fed up with me? or could cheating be dependant on how happy he is/was within a relationship? do most people (other than serial cheats) only usually cheat if there's something wrong in the relationship?

Posted on 3 April 2006 @ 11:35 (London time) - permalink
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I think this is a tricky question. Some people are very much 'natural' cheaters and others are not. I think if somebody has cheated more than once then you have to say odds are they are 'natural' cheaters. However, once can be the product of extreme unhappiness and the relationship simply not working. I think if there is something wrong in the relationship then most people at least feel the temptation too even if they actually don't and that is a classic sign there are serious problems in a relationship. I think you have to give your b/f a clean slate to be honest because that is all you can do 'innocent until proven guilty' as the law has it,

Posted on 3 April 2006 @ 13:13 (London time) - permalink
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No I dont think so. I think anybody has it in them to cheat, just like anybody has it in them to be completely faithful. Thats what makes the world interesting........

Posted on 3 April 2006 @ 15:7 (London time) - permalink
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thanks, i don't get the impression he's a 'natural' cheater, he does seem like a nice guy and i think he was genuinely really unhappy in his previous relationship and simply wasn't what he wanted. I do know in the past he was seeing a girl before he went to iraq; apparently he only saw it as sex and she thought otherwise; and before he left he met another girl but didn't tell her about the first one because he didn't see it lasting when he got back... i think he kept in contact with them both during his time overseas (about a year or so) but stayed with the second girl when he got back... Should i be bothered by this, or think it's something he does alot or think of it as him having fun before going to iraq, knowing he may not come back? he tells me i'm everything he's ever wanted and has a connection with me like he's never had before. so i'm hoping we will have something far more special than that he had before and he will be less likely to do the same again, i think the best i can do is try and forget about it and move on and make our relationship good so that he doesn't want to cheat...

Posted on 3 April 2006 @ 15:56 (London time) - permalink
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Ok, what i meant is that some people had a fickle nature and were more predisposed if that makes sense. Going back to the question, i think going to Iraq and facing the very real possibility of death can be counted as a one off. It seems to me that he has been very open with you thus far and hopefully that should reassure you a little.

Posted on 3 April 2006 @ 18:2 (London time) - permalink
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ok thanks very much for your advice, it's nice to have another opinion on the issue... thanks very much :)

Posted on 3 April 2006 @ 20:45 (London time) - permalink
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