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Dear Cupid > Forums > Cupid's Lounge > Women on singles sites.

Women on singles sites.

, posted over a year ago

What are women on singles sites looking for? I look at them from time to time, and nearly every add in my search comes up with "Online now" or "Online today". I've seen the same adds (for attractive women) on mulitple sites month after month after month. They seem to be quite desperate, eagerly checking their email every day, and going through the adds day after day. So what the heck are they waiting for?

Men must outnumber women by at least twenty to one. Are you telling me these women aren't getting any messages? I know thats not true. So it must be that none of these guys meet their standards? I've occasionally had a look through some men's adds (to see what sorts of things other guys post) and the majority look like normal, decent guys. That's just not good enough for these women, is that it?

Are they all waiting for the absolute perfect guy to contact them? Some gorgeous, tall dark and handsome millionaire? Do they really expect a guy like that to be on desperateanddateless.com?

What do you think? I'd really like some insight into this.

Cheers.

Posted on 22 March 2010 @ 1:12 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

I'd just like to add, in response to a message I got about this post that I didn't at all intend to suggest that women on singles sites were desperate, or that there was anything wrong with them. At all.

Posted on 22 March 2010 @ 6:52 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

i didnt take it that way...but i cant help you, because i havent been on a dating site. Mal

Posted on 22 March 2010 @ 12:5 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

Actually, I haven't been on one, either. But I have a gf who was on one for a very brief time, and yes, she was very, very selective. I think women fear the possibilities of the whom they can meet through the internet. It's a personal safety issue. I finally told her if she is that 'fearful' she needs to get off the dating sites and meet nice guys, in the real world.

which she did...and has just married a guy who used to work with her.

Posted on 22 March 2010 @ 14:28 (London time) - permalink
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veronika, posted over a year ago

I don't have any personal experience on dating sites either, but I feel it could perhaps be to do with seeking out genuine people.

Some women (and men, for that matter) may feel that they don't want to get duped or end up with a fake, so they may take their time selecting and choosing who to go after. I think people have a right to be picky on the Internet, but it's much harder to tell if someone's a phony.

Posted on 23 March 2010 @ 11:23 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

I've been reading a post on the site about a guy's experience with singles sites and there's a reply from a forty seven year old woman who has only had her profile up for a week and she's recieved two hundred emails.

The thing is she doesn't intend to reply to any of them. Not one. Out of two hundred not one is good enough (well actually she says she doesn't know what they're looking for, but obviously they're interested in her). But she says she's excited because she hopes to meet a catch.

This is the sort of mentality that I don't get. She's there to meet someone. But she's not willing to reply to anyone when they email. And one presumes she's not going to email anyone first. So what does she think is going to happen? How does she imagine finding her catch will work?

Is it just attention seeking? Is that it? They dont' really want to meet anyone they just like getting all the emails. I can understand it if it is.

Posted on 4 April 2010 @ 0:34 (London time) - permalink
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Illithid, posted over a year ago

That pretty much matches my experience with dating sites. TONS of men, far fewer women. The women are online all the time, but you can message them all you like without reply. Lots of demand for women that aren't actually receptive to the attention, with lots of lonely men that start to wonder why they're even trying. There's a reason I gave up on those sites.

http://www.dearcupid.org/question/do-girls-just-not-search-for-guys-online.html

was pretty spot on, from what I've seen.

Posted on 4 April 2010 @ 1:43 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

I have read the post with women of 47 with 200 replies and I don't see it the way you do,she said she was shocked and didn't know where to begin there was lot of guys as young as 20 she knows what they want so wont be responding to those, and says she is quite excited about it there has to be one catch out there, that to me doesn't sound like a women who isn't going to respond to any of them

Posted on 4 April 2010 @ 2:56 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

You're right Vintage, I misread her post. I thought she said she didn't intend to respond to any of them. My fault for not reading more carefully.

She did a follow up and she has actually gone on a couple of dates, so that's good. So maybe it's not all THAT hopeless.

Posted on 4 April 2010 @ 8:8 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

Um, may I make a contribution to this discussion?

I have only ever joined a dating site once, so my experience may be limited. I found that I would receive messages from nice, normal guys, who would just try to start a general, friendly conversation. So I would reply, and after one or two messages I would never hear from them again. This happened more times that I can count. At first I wondered if it was me scaring them off! But the messages were just small talk really, chit chat to get a conversation going. So I couldn't understand how they could have formed an opinion of me that they disliked. Also, some of my female friends have said they experienced the same thing, so after a while they gave up.

I always tried to reply to every message I received, unless the guy was just being dirty or something! And the same thing kept happening. It really confused me, becsause some of the guys would make a big fuss of me in their initial message, saying that they would "love" to get to know me, and that I seemed like a "great" person. And yet, after only a couple of messages, they disappeared. Did they get bored? Was I not what they were expecting or hoping for? I started to wonder exactly what these guys were looking for. Perfection? And yep, in the end I had enough and came off the site. But this also happened to me lots of times on social networking sites too, not just that dating site.

So...I don't know. Maybe I just had a bad experience. But I do know that some women also experience what has been pointed out in this thread, so it may apply to both sexes. But maybe it happens more to men? I don't know, but I just thought I'd share my thoughts on this.

Posted on 4 April 2010 @ 9:31 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

Thanks Samantha. It sounds weird to me that men do that, I don't understand it. Ok, you've got to expect that sometimes two people aren't going to hit it off, but I don't know why you'd find it happened over and over.

Thanks for sharing. I appreciate hearing things from the female point of view.

I don't think I'm ever going to understand, both male and female bahavior on singles sites. I think I'd better just forget about the whole thing.

Thanks everyone.

Posted on 4 April 2010 @ 10:29 (London time) - permalink
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