 Sedgeley, posted
over a year ago
Where do i start (a long one sorry)...first of all,i am male (for those who ain't read my profile) and i have recently had an affair with a married guy from my work. i have had gay experiences with other men before,i am not out and i am straight-acting
Now i was in contact with this guy 'Daniel' as friends only, i dont work directly with him but we use to chat a lot and messaged each other about what we were up to etc.
Then after about 2 months thereabouts of chatting and texting him. I was saying i've finished work and im really tired and going stright to bed when i get home....Then Daniel replied with 'o thanks for rubbing it in! if only i was able to join you'
After reading that i was shocked by what i read coz i didn't know he was bi, i also thought he was married but excited at the same time as i did like him aswell
Being curious that i hadn't misread the signs i remember replying with a message with no particular answer but so he could follow it up with something so im not thinking he was joking or something....Then Daniel replied with 'What am i into?' then after that we were constantly sending messages to each other questioning stuff and flirting with each other!
Then that evening i had to verify that he was actually married and yes he is. so from then he was saying i have to delete my messages from him after i read them so knowone can find out which was fair enough,he can but i didnt! After talking to him aswell he said to message him in the morning and i did
I sent him a message saying i was thinking of him and i couldn't wait to see him accept the only thing was, minutes later i got a message back saying 'well done brains,my wife just read that!' After that i was really worried and hoping i didn't cause any problems between them and hoping they weren't argueing but then i had an idea and text back saying how much of a fool i was and feel really embarrassed as that messsage should have been sent to Danielle not you....Luckily,it worked and wasn't to bad as i found out she hadn't read all the message.
Obviously the whole incident freaked me out and we agreed not to text each other so much and if we did it was nothing flirtatious or dirty...we had arranged to meet a few days later for some drinks in London and when it got nearer the time he was having doubts about the whole so i wasn't very happy
I wasn't very happy at all and was messaging him saying..'well thanks very much,your just hanging me out to dry now.You come onto me, get me all excited then your backing away' We then briefly spoke on the phone and agreed we would still meet for a drink in london
We met up, got the tube into london, drunk in a pub he knew in covent garden and after a couple of drink we were both curious as to what the Sauna Bar was about which was next door and we decided to try it out. Now i geniunely didn't know to much about them and it obviously came to light as to what it was about when looking round...Daniel said he didnt know about it but i still wonder...
So anyway, Yes we had our sexual encounter and enjoyed it very much!
On the train home Daniel was very quiet as after we got out the sauna bar he was saying felt very guilty for what he had done having an affair especially as he is married.....Not a lot was said at all and i was thinking to myself and was going to say maybe we can have some fun another time but then i was having my doubts from the way he was feeling so i kept quiet
From that time i was messaging him and trying to call him but i never seemed to get a lot of response which really pissed me off and got me down and we never really said much to each other about what had happened but he did say a week later that the next day after we had our encounter he went to church to confess and also said he doesn't want anything to happen again.
Obviously i wasn't that happy as i would have loved us to have fun again but instead we were to stay as friends..The only thing was he seemed to keep himself very distant from me...Whenever i tried to arrange to meet up for a coffee at work or arrange to go for a drink locally and even when i invited him to a house party he would always have an excuse for not coming which really pissed me off as it was like he didn't want to see me at all...i was only being friendly
So come end of August he had time off and got a last minute deal to ibiza for 4days with a mate and was surprised he had gone away without his wife or more surprised she would let him go away without her! I also was going away but to madrid and it was at the same. i couldn't stop thinking of Daniel and jealous he was in ibiza as i wasn't enjoying myself in madrid so i was texting him and even phoned him
As i knew his wife wasn't around i was sending dirty text messages and we were saying we should meet for a drink when we get back. i was asking whether he wanted to drink in his town or by me and he was asking if there were gonna be anyone at my house and i said my house was gonna be empty so he came to mine.
Now during this arrangement i was only talking about having some drinks but he obviously wanted more and it did accept while we were having our 2nd sexual encounter he had to stop through it as he got a guilty concience again
He was apolygising to me again, saying he feels really bad and he shouldn't be doing this,he's been married for two years and he is having an affair....i never forced him into anything he wanted more and i obviously wasn't gonna say no coz of the way i feel about him. The good thing i have to say is after that 2nd time we had spoke to each other about our feelings and agreed to stay as friends and not be so weary about chatting to each other...Accept even from saying that
Again whenever i text him he is rarely replying to me and now he doesn't even answer his phone to me anymore but whenever i see him anyhere in work he has no interest in communicating with me, i have to approach him and when i talk to him its like nothing has happened and its like he's not really interested he never has anything to say to me and its only me doing the talking!
I guess i am telling you this very long story as i don't know what to do?? i can't stop thinking about Daniel?? I know nothing will ever be between us coz he's married?? The only thing i can't help thinking is he was the one he was coming onto me to start with and on the 2nd time he was wanting more.It really gets me down now,he doesn't seem to communicate with me anymore the only time i ever see him is at work which makes things awkward so i can't say nothing to sort things?? i just want to build a friendship again but he ain't showing any interest??
Posted on 16 September 2006 @ 18:46 (London time) - permalink
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