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Dear Cupid > Forums > Cupid's Lounge > The Good wifes Guide!

The Good wifes Guide!

Wendyg, posted over a year ago

This amused me somewhat, and for those that have not seen it before thought I would share.

This is thought to have been the advice given to newlywed Women in the 1950's .... Cant say I can really comment!!

Have dinner ready.

Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.

Prepare yourself.

Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

Clear away clutter.

Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Gather up schoolbooks, toys, papers, etc. and then run a dustcloth over the tables.

Over the winter months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

Prepare the children.

Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces, comb their hair, and if necessary change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.

Minimise all noise.

At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.

Be happy to see him.

Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.

Listen to him.

You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the right time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

Make the evening his.

Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, and his real need to be at home and relax.

Your goal.

Try to make sure that your home is a place of peace and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

Don't greet him with complaints and problems.

Don't complain if he's late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone throught that day.

Make him comfortable.

Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or a warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.

Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgement or integrity. Remember, he is master of the house and as such, will always excercise his will with fairness and truthfulness.

You have no right to question him. A good wife knows her place.

My how things have changed! But it seems lots of men would still prefer this to be so!!

;o)

Posted on 5 September 2006 @ 10:55 (London time) - permalink
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Yos, posted over a year ago

Damn I was born in the wrong decade for sure ;)

Posted on 5 September 2006 @ 15:35 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

I can see wisdom in this advice.

It does make a difference in the home when you can show such consideration and it creates a very warm, loving, safe haven for everyone in your home.

I agree with all of what was said.

I take a quick 20 minute nap to refresh my mind and re-energize so I can focus more attention and actually be interested in what my Boyfriend has to say. Being tired comes across as being disinterested or bored and can cause offense.

Having a cooked meal on the table when the BF comes home makes his day and I get the greatest of hugs...family dinner is most important in today's world. It is time to keep in touch with everyone else, know what is going on in their lives and world, and strengthens the family bond.

My BF goes off to work to make a living to support my four children and myself; he provides a roof over our heads, he puts food on the table, he clothes us. He does this all out of love. So why wouldn't I take the time to treat him like a king? I love this man.

Posted on 5 September 2006 @ 16:40 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

In response to not questioning your husband/man on his actions and decisions. I think they mean that when you commit to someone; you usually do so as you have common life goals and common family goals so yes trust in your partners intentions-that he has what is best for his family in mind.

Being supportive and taking the time to understand him is always recommended. I find no fault with this.

He is the man, he is the provider. Love and trust in him and you will have this in return.

BTW...what did anyone think of Pleasantville starring Tobey Macquire and Reese Witherspoon?

Posted on 5 September 2006 @ 16:44 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

Sounds like Anthea Turner,that woman amazes me.

Posted on 5 September 2006 @ 16:44 (London time) - permalink
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snowbird, posted over a year ago

Of course, this works both ways...not sure how the staying out all night works, though, unless it works both ways - and in certain less 'idyllic' households it would involve tying kiddies up in the garden shed with bags of gob-stoppers - not a good idea. I live on cloud no. 8, by the way...;o)

Posted on 5 September 2006 @ 17:14 (London time) - permalink
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Serene Katy, posted over a year ago

I'm just getting the final Stepford Wives adjustments, then I will become suitably man pleasing to follow that wonderful advice SB!!

Not too much to do, just removal of the loud vocal cords, soul and, while I'm at it, a lobotomy.

Observation: There are some things that a free person should not endure (even a female person). It is absolutely no wonder valium became so widely abused by housewives from that very era.

My mum kicked ass to fight against such role models in Ireland in the 1970s, where a woman would be gossiped about if she bought bread instead of made it, and would not be entertained in most pubs!!! Also until the 1980s here, women were by law, forced to leave their employment 9 months after they married, baby or not. Presumably to act out the little scenario SB painted for the rest of their lives. Viva equality at work and at home!!!

Posted on 5 September 2006 @ 20:31 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

I suggest renting Mona Lisa Smile. 8]

Posted on 5 September 2006 @ 23:10 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

Why do women suggest that those who can be happy and fulfilled in being a stay at home Mother and loving woman to a good, honest, hardworking man are backwards or lacking on some level?

I am more than intelligent and aware that should it ever be needed that I go to work to provide for my family; I can do so and rather well.

I just happen to think my Mother was a good role model and happen to think "wow, I want to grow up and have as much fun as my Mom and drive a mini van!"

Needless to say when it came to writing about who was your female role model in which you hope to aspire to be like; I choose my Mother.

I can kick ass when I need to, I can go toe to toe with my local MLA and have...which makes for some damned good reading, and I can wake up in the mornings, get all five of my loves up and ready for the day AND still do book keeping and fictional writing in hope of getting published!!

I also take a day of the week to go ballroom dancing with the BF and another for date nights. Monday are usually reserved for family time and Fridays are reserved for family movie night. I love that my children can come home and know that they have a loving and caring Parent at home in which they can turn to for comfort and guidance.

Being a Mother in these times requires great dedication and commitment and has long lasting effects than a woman business woman. My contributions goes on for generations.

MOTHER's KICK ASS!!!!

Posted on 5 September 2006 @ 23:57 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

Whilst I don't agree with all of the points, Malyce you rock for being a "modern" women yet someone who still values and ascribes to homemaking and motherhood.

I feel this post may require far more justification to explain my position but I am going to sleep now, night!

zZzZzz

Posted on 6 September 2006 @ 0:18 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

*bows head* Thank you Dr. Pete, I am most flattered.

I look forward to your post in regard to homemaking and motherhood.

Sweet Dreams..."and may you dream of very large women..."~ the masked man from Princess Bride.

Posted on 6 September 2006 @ 1:0 (London time) - permalink
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snowbird, posted over a year ago

I will add that my mother had all the corners 'chipped off' of her personality as she was a submissive wife, with 5 of us and a sometimes very bad-tempered and violent husband, (though not towards her) and I had no intentions of following down that road!

..However, I was a stay-at-home mum, and enjoyed making bread and pickles and learnt to do all the things necessary for my family, helped my husband build up his graphic design business, and enjoyed it all while the children were young. I wanted them to feel the security, love, happiness and respect which was lacking in our childhood - but not at the expense of staying 'barefoot, continuously pregnant and in the kitchen'!

The difference was that I insisted on being treated with equal respect, and expected my husband to be a hands-on father to his children - something of a battle, but then he was always patient and gentle at least, and a vastly different man to my father, of course..

It is only when the couple are in a harmonious and two-way, giving, loving relationship, and when they can be nurturing to one another and the family as a whole unit, that the old-fashioned home ethic can work. It is better for the children and society, as we can all see from the myriad of child-care and 'nanny' programs which are sprouting up as a backlash against all the anti-social behaviours children are exposed to.

All children need to feel valued and loved, and that their parents are happy and content with one another.

Now that both parents usually have to work so hard, and often long hours, in order to pay the bills, children can sometimes be seen as a burden on every level, and are in danger of feeling unloved and unappreciated. This is when the anger builds up and it culmingates with them taking it out on society.

I would never say that either way is 'wrong' - it depends on the family and whether they can sll pull together to make it work.

Sorry to go on, but is a subject close to my heart, and I would appreciate other's comments on this - cheers!

Posted on 6 September 2006 @ 10:41 (London time) - permalink
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snowbird, posted over a year ago

Oops, sorry, typo - not culmingates - culminates!!

Posted on 6 September 2006 @ 10:44 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

It is to me too Snowbird.We both work In our family and our two wonderful kids are so independant at there age,Max(13) and Danielle(9) help with chores like Max would mow the lawn while Danielle rakes,they takes the rubbish out every Wednessday and help me clean the house.They can even cook.My husband is also quiet hands on, he cleans and cooks,does shopping for me if I am busy.As a working Mum I am proud to say that our family pull together,because at the end of the day they need to know what to do when they leave our nest as to speak.

I know that If anything has to happen to me my children will be able to help their Dad and themselves.

Posted on 6 September 2006 @ 13:44 (London time) - permalink
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snowbird, posted over a year ago

Just as well, chuck, given the time you spend on this site...(lol)..like myself, 'fraid if I had found this site 30 yrs ago, they would've all starved yonks ago!!

Posted on 6 September 2006 @ 13:50 (London time) - permalink
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snowbird, posted over a year ago

- an' bugger the bread - white sliced or none!!!! haha!! (where's that bottle...)?

Posted on 6 September 2006 @ 13:52 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

Hahaha!!! Snowbird it has happened a few times,Poor Max and Danielle ......They keep walkers in business though(lol)

Posted on 6 September 2006 @ 13:54 (London time) - permalink
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Serene Katy, posted over a year ago

Oh you two rogues, think it's a bit more normal, that housewife guide thing seems so contrived, real role playing. I like to go with the flow.

You know they had a housewife of the year competition here in Ireland until someone changed it about 4 years ago to housekeeper/person of the year!! Hahaha, don't think I'll be winning it no matter what they call it. Snow Bird of the (hic, splutter, fart) Year, scause me. lol

Kate

Posted on 6 September 2006 @ 14:13 (London time) - permalink
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Serene Katy, posted over a year ago

Wendyg, where did you go? Come back, come back, take the pinny off, are you going for the Stepford Wife transformation also???

Posted on 6 September 2006 @ 14:16 (London time) - permalink
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snowbird, posted over a year ago

HOW VERY dare you - I am perfect, and most CERTAINLY do NOT fart!!!

Posted on 6 September 2006 @ 15:32 (London time) - permalink
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snowbird, posted over a year ago

EVER!!!!!!

Posted on 6 September 2006 @ 15:33 (London time) - permalink
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Serene Katy, posted over a year ago

lol, ahh yeah, sorry, must've been that Ariel I was thinking of, hahaha.

Posted on 6 September 2006 @ 15:36 (London time) - permalink
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snowbird, posted over a year ago

OH, Ariel, how rude that Katy is!! - If I were you I'd pretend I did'nt read that..

Posted on 6 September 2006 @ 15:40 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

KATY!!!!!!(shocked) I am a LADY

Posted on 6 September 2006 @ 15:41 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

To late Snowbird

Posted on 6 September 2006 @ 15:42 (London time) - permalink
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snowbird, posted over a year ago

'Lady Marmalaaade' - I know, I can back you up on that one - I read it on the local (gent's) toilet wall...!

Posted on 6 September 2006 @ 15:44 (London time) - permalink
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snowbird, posted over a year ago

o, bugger

Posted on 6 September 2006 @ 15:44 (London time) - permalink
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Serene Katy, posted over a year ago

George Michael

Posted on 6 September 2006 @ 15:48 (London time) - permalink
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Serene Katy, posted over a year ago

Ah fluorescent light feedback, where am I?? Bewildered, you two over there gossiping about gents toilets, lead me out, back to normality. I just wanted to play some games, how did I end up in here????

Posted on 6 September 2006 @ 15:50 (London time) - permalink
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Yos, posted over a year ago

One very cool thing about the Netherlands, where I've moved to (used to live in London). It's a very common arrangement for couples with kids to work 4 days a week each, with their extra day off on different days. Result = one day per week the mother stays at home with the kids, and another day the father does. Evereyone is at home on weekends. Kids have childcare 3 days a week. Call it the modern dutch solution to the working mother problem.

It works really well. One of the reasons it does is BY LAW any employee in any company is allowed to work 4 days a week. No company is alowed to turn down a request to do this!

The Dutch work ethic is much better than the British one imho

Posted on 6 September 2006 @ 16:0 (London time) - permalink
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snowbird, posted over a year ago

Just undo the straps, and use your sharpest nails to rip thru the padding on the wall..knock out the guards, roll past the guys with syringes,...and run down the yellow brick road! easy..

Posted on 6 September 2006 @ 16:1 (London time) - permalink
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snowbird, posted over a year ago

Sorry, Yos, I was answering Katy, not you - I see you are trying to resume sanity on here..!

Posted on 6 September 2006 @ 16:3 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

I went to the Netherlands once,it was a stop over and the kids were with us,so all we did was ate at MacDonalds near the Schiphol Airport hotel it was snowing and very cold.

Wish we could of done more as there is so much to do in the Netherlands.

Posted on 6 September 2006 @ 16:19 (London time) - permalink
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Serene Katy, posted over a year ago

You bet there is ;) Ariel, and not just tiptoeing through the tulips.

Anyone here ever take the Magic Bus, that ended at Hotel California in Amsterdam??

Posted on 6 September 2006 @ 16:30 (London time) - permalink
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Wendyg, posted over a year ago

LOL LOL... So I see this caused a bit of input.. Not what I expected!

Been away nursing an annoying Migraine yet again! Need to get rid of them!! too much stress me thinks!

And no katy me not a Stepford wife in the slightest LOL

Whilst I dont agree with all the points on the original post, I do see that some are pretty valid and that some women could benefit from taking note a little. Not all but some dont truly appreciate that the man is the "hunter gatherer" and just take them for granted.

Now here we both work full time... So its pretty much shared equally.. sometimes the man of the house does do more than the woman.. but that is his choice. It depends what needs doing and who has the more time. We both appreciate that working full time sometimes means the house is in slight disarray but we work together to make light of such things, and take time out to show we appreaciate one another. We more or less take it in turns to cook and such things, and make the other feel special (me bad cook but I do try!) Its teamwork here all the way.. but if we were to start a family and i was a stay at home wife then of course I would probably take better care of the home and my man whilst he was out working.. times have changed and women are not just solely stay at home women but have careers too. Its all about the right balance. I think the 1950's thing though is a bit too over the top about women and it cant be said in this modern day that would be the way to behave.. I agree that certain responsibilty needs to be taken in any relationship to make it work, but why should it all be about the man being happy, the women has a right to be happy to.. back then it was all about the man and what he wanted as he was the person going out to work, but these days its not like that we have evolved! lol Its all about give and take, some women like I say can learn a lesson or two, but its all about making you both happy... I make sure my man is happy and he makes sure im happy, there is no set rule in this house, its go with the flow to make one another happy. He knows he is appreciated and so do I.

Posted on 6 September 2006 @ 16:35 (London time) - permalink
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Serene Katy, posted over a year ago

Maybe you wore that ribbon too tight in your hair Wendy?

Migrane is no joke though, poor you (lots of sympathy, bananas set it off with me, or setting off on another adventure with no breakfast.)

Posted on 6 September 2006 @ 16:40 (London time) - permalink
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Wendyg, posted over a year ago

Yeah migraine is pants.. Its not just the headache.. I get the Aura aswell, which includes, flashing lights, blind spots, and sometimes numbness.. i used to be sick with them, but thank god not as much these days... often the attack can last like 3-4 days and im whacked!! Have had years of study to see what causes mine, but its never the same thing.. Only one true indentifier is Tomato soup so I avoid that, anything other than that we dont know! I hoped i would grow out of them, but alas not so... so i have to get on with it, but its annoying when i get a spell of them it starts to take over your life as you cant do anything and you never know when one will strike! :o( these things are sent to try us!

Posted on 6 September 2006 @ 16:46 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

Marriage to me always meant the teamwork and the dedication to the marriage and family above all else.

This is what my home life was like with my Dad and Mother.

I love them; they really are great.

Posted on 6 September 2006 @ 16:46 (London time) - permalink
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Wendyg, posted over a year ago

I only wish my Dad had appreciated my mum like that... She was a bit like the 1950's women, she worked part time as well as raise us kids and make the house run like clockwork... Dad was never bothered to much about all of that and it is a shame.... 25 years of marriage ended so badly! Its a long story... but he never did appreciate until now what a wonderful woman my mum is.

Posted on 6 September 2006 @ 16:54 (London time) - permalink
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