Just need advice, from both girls and guys!!!

confusedbunny, posted over a year ago

I'v been with my fella for 3 years and 7 months, I was 15 when we first started dating, we got engaged when i was 16 (just after 9 months of knowing eachother) and now im 19. At first (like always) things were great, sex was great, conversations were great, but since he moved in with me a year ago things have been getting more and more distant. I found txts on his phone from a girl collegue that suggested there was something going on between them, i confrunted him about it and he hasn't contacted her since she left the job. But now i keep finding porn on his laptop. Now i know guys watch it and theres not much i can do, but i jus had to find out what else he had, so i went looking on his computer and was absolutly horrified at some of the filth I'v found on there!!!

I hated the fact he was talking to a girl at work, but i could stop him seeing her coz she was real, what can i do about online girls?! It didnt bother me when he confessed to watching it, but now i do because the new stuff he's downloading is really grose!!! Do i tell him about it? tell him i know and i dont like the fact he watches it? or should i jus leave it and hope he doesnt Download any more.

Im really confused! Its heartbreaking for me coz i love him so much and i would never even think of looking at another man in that way, and the thought of hm getting off by looking at girls that are absolutly stunning with perfect figures just makes me feel so uncomfortable! We still have sex but i hate when he holds me coz im worrid he'll compare me to the girls he watches.

please help me! am i just being paranoid?

A.Confused.Bunny x

Posted on 30 May 2006 @ 20:32 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

You see that's the problem with many relationships, is that they move in together too early in the relationship, and find that being in each other's faces becomes quite overbearing at times. Having some privacy and away time from each other is actually an excellent thing for new relationships, because it keeps the streaming of knowledge and interests between two people at a gradual constant rate.

People in relationships shouldn't consider moving in together until the connection between the two people have been more established, when they feel g a comfortable zone of trust and affection, and talking about starting a family, or very similar things. Staying over at each other's places once or twice every weekend is fine, but continuously can get quite irritating.

What I really suggest is that you two move away from each other, and see how that goes. If each other's love is strong, then you two will seek each other out and continue to grow together. However, if each other's love is weaker than you may think, then no matter what you do, it's possible it will shatter.

I know my comments do not address the bulk of your comments, but that is because the foundation of your relationship hasn't even developed much yet - I am assuming this based on your age, the generalization of the type of life you may have at that age, as well as the style in which you have made your comments. However, I think you should reassess the basic elements of your relationship with him before you continue.

Posted on 30 May 2006 @ 21:48 (London time) - permalink
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confusedbunny, posted over a year ago

But its just all so difficult, iv got myself in soooo deep. He used to live up north you see, so we met on holiday, but for pretty much 2 years we only saw eachother on the weekends. we broke hearts to be together and caused so many arguments between families, and now it just seems to be wasted. I dont know i just feel like the relationship is a downwards spiral that i cant escape from. i do love him, but i dont know if im IN love with him. :-(

Posted on 1 June 2006 @ 20:9 (London time) - permalink
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eyeswideopen, posted over a year ago

I agree with the Rabbit, people should let a relationship develop before setting up houskeeping with each other. Lots of time to do that latter on. You and your boyfriend need to separate from each other not break up maybe but give each other a little more space.

Posted on 1 June 2006 @ 22:28 (London time) - permalink
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lizarosa, posted over a year ago

i met my fiance on 27th oct 2007 and we got engaged on 28jan he started staying with me 2 weeks after meeting now we have our own place and get married in aug i got fed up of people saying its too soon etc not for us we like the 24 7 in your face relationship we re soulmates always togther cannot bare to be apart we got engaged after knowing each other 3 months and we new straight away it was love

Posted on 21 February 2008 @ 13:16 (London time) - permalink
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daisydiane, posted over a year ago

Confused bunny? look at the name you gave yourself! You don't know much about males yet you gave yourself to this guy so young! What message do you think you sent him? All he had to do was to pretend he wants to marry you & if he does marry you,you won't change him,thats a proven fact & most girls learn the hardest of ways,so why are you still with him? He got sex from you & still gets it plus who knows who else he gets it from?

The good news is,the women in porn do not all have perfect bodies & they don't all look great! Women like porn to.I use to watch it but decided against it because I started wanting two men & thought about having to men all the time.It makes people lust.Anyway,porn in and of itself isn't really all that bad if LUST doesn't get a hold on you,cause most guys use it to get erections & to get aroused despite what they tell you or say around female ears,lol...

Face it,guys are not the horn dogs they want you to think they are! Turn your EGO up & listen to it,I have a huge female Ego & guys brag because of their Ego,so don't take this crazy stuff personally because if you do he gets a bigger ego trip from it & you will just feel sad,hurt & insecure! Learn how to LOVE yourself & you'll get respect,trust me,I know,ok?

Porn isn't a big deal if you understand it ok?

It's for entertainment & arousal,and look at the males in porn! Most guys Just WISH they had a dong like that,lol.... Don't listen to the males & their Ego talking,understand your own Ego cause it's crying out to you to be heard! Your guy is trippin,so why not let him go & start over fresh & clean with a worthy man? I did & I got a great man amen. You can too cause respect works both ways,& if he loved you he wouldn't use you to boost his ego like he does!!! Ponder that one ok?

Posted on 31 January 2010 @ 7:59 (London time) - permalink
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daisydiane, posted over a year ago

Hee,heee,heee you wish! It's fast free easy sex until he gets his fill then you'll get the boot,I promise you!

Posted on 31 January 2010 @ 8:3 (London time) - permalink
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